Monday, June 24, 2013

Ten People You See At Weddings




Happy Monday, friends.
I feel like the weekend flew by way too fast. It's pretty rude, actually. I hope you all had a fabulous weekend, and that you're ready to get back to the grind!

My Friday consisted of having dinner and seeing Les Miserables broadway production with a few great friends. It was nothing short of amazing, and I promise that there wasn't anything 'miserable' about it. Ha, I'm punny. Okay, I'm not... but lets not go there.

On Saturday, I second-shot a wedding for Teryn Lee Photography. It was a nice day, and I ended it off by having a picnic on the beach. Sunday didn't involve anything exciting, so I won't even recap.

Eric & Krysta - MARRIED
Itty-bitty sneak peak from Saturday's wedding. Boo to my formatting getting screwed up on the picture on the right.


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Since I shot a wedding on Saturday, and since I've shot or attended probably 20-25 weddings now, I've written a list:

Ten People You See At Weddings.

    1. 'Uncle Bob' - a term that a lot of photographer's use to describe that 'uncle' at the wedding who brings his 'fancy camera' with the kits lens on it. He usually follows the photographer everywhere they go, and often steps in front of the photographers so he can get 'the shot'. I vote that Uncle Bob gets banned from taking pictures.

    2. Grandma Mae - the sweet grandma that wanders around the wedding looking a little lost. She thinks everything that day is just amazing and tells stories about how this wedding is more elaborate than her modest wedding in the 1940's/1950's. Grandma Mae is hands down my favorite wedding guest.


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    3. Douchebag Derek - This guy. Oh, this guy. He was probably the grooms roommate at university. He's single, and probably won't settle down until he's 42, or ever. The bride hates him, but agrees to invite him so the groom feels like he has a say in who the wedding guests are. His mission is to hook-up with one of the bridesmaids... but he will settle for anyone who is willing.
    Douchebag Derek is his name for a reason.

    4. Cousin Johnny - could also be 'Uncle Johnny'. Tells a lot of inappropriate jokes, makes weird/rude comments, and probably makes the flower girl cry. We don't have control over who our family members are, but cousin Johnny needs to go away.


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    5. Happy-Go-Lucky Harry - he's probably one of my favorite guests. He's there to have a good time, no ifs ands or buts about it. He's outgoing and friendly and he can't wait for the dance party to start. He is the first one on the dance floor and the last one remaining. He sweats out all of the alcohol that he has consumed and I guarantee that he has a tie on his head at some point during the dance party.

    6. Desperate Diana - She will probably hook-up with Douchebag Derek. She's in her late 20's or early 30's and thinks that her life is over because she's the last one of her friends who isn't married. She has a fake smile on her face all day when really.. she just wants to cry. Don't worry homegirl, you're better than hooking up with Douchebag Derek. You won't be single forever. Or maybe you will, I don't know you.. so maybe you'll be a crazy cat lady who never gets married. I just don't know.


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    7. Judgmental Judy - she's the one who walks around the venue, judging the flowers, small details, and even table linens. She feels as though she's a wedding pro because she has attended eleventy billion weddings. She knows her shit - and you can bet that she's judging all of your little details.

    8. Whiny Wendy - this girl complains about anything and everything. The ceremony starts 5 minutes late? She's complaining about it. Food isn't being served yet? Whine whine whine. DJ isn't playing her favorite song? It's all she's talking about. You just can't please everyone, but Whiny Wendy takes this to a whole new level.


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    9. Lush Lucy/Lukey - okay, just call him Luke, I call him Lukey as a pet-name. Anyway, both Lucy and Luke come to the wedding for one reason, and one reason only: OPEN BAR. Yes, they're probably happy that 'X' is marrying 'Y'.. But really, they are there for the party and free booze. Typically they have a few pre cocktail party cocktails just to get the party started. You'll see them constantly with a drink in their hand, usually while they're in line at the bar for their next drink. Don't worry, Lucy and Luke are usually the life of the party - they're fun guests to have.

    10. Toasting Timmy - the one who grabs the mic whenever possible and gives as many toasts/cheers as possible throughout the entire reception. He thinks he's the back-up MC, and should probably sit as far away from the podium as possible. At least his toasts get more and more entertaining as the night goes on. My favorite toast I've heard yet:

    "I was told that this toast should last as long as it takes the groom to make love to the bride tonight.
    So I'll end this here. Thanks for having me."



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    What do you think? Are there any other wedding guests I've forgotten?

    Disclaimer: This list isn't meant to offend anyone by any means, these are just the type of people that I have come across.
    Also, I am not saying that all of these people were at the wedding this weekend.



8 comments:

Stephanie said...

Hahaha too true! Well we all know I'm #9. I'm good with that.

Brittany Lea said...

Hahaha So true some of these guests are at every wedding!

Whitney Ellen said...

I can't even tell you how many times I've been hit on by multiple Douchebag Derek's while shooting weddings. Get outta here, ya nutso.

B Dav said...

I literally laughed out loud!!!!
There's also usually the childhood crush/romance of either the bride or groom that HAS to be there in order to be polite, plasters on a grin, and wishes for a quick death.

oneand20.blogspot.com

Jay T said...

Hahahaha! This is so right. What about Bitter Betty? She's kind of a cross between Judgmental Judy and Desperate Diana. She's bitter that she's not married and is convinced the marriage will end in divorce and gets really drunk and tells everyone that marriage doesn't last.

Chelsea said...

I feel like I've met way too many Douchebag Dereks in my life... way way too many! This post was HILARIOUS!

Paulina @ Discovering Simply ME said...

I have three weddings to go to this summer where I will mostly likely be number 6, 7 or 8 depending which one I am at. So up hate myself now.

Steph G said...

My husband is #5 for sure and has definitely had a tie around his head before... so awesome and so embarrassing at the same time.