Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Excuse You

Today's post is going to be short and sweet and to the point.

Last night, following yesterday's post, Justin and I went to the #TacoTuesday Taco Eating Competition. Remember how he said I shouldn't compete because it would make me sick? Well him and his best friend competed.. they both lost, but at least they ate a bunch of tacos and got the shits some free beer out of it.

Anyway, that doesn't really have anything to do with today's post. While we were at the bar for the competition last night, these two guys came in and sat at the end of our big table. Sharing is caring, so we totally played nice - for the most part. These two guys were drunk, I mean absolutely hammered and shouldn't have been served another drop of alcohol - but that's neither here nor there because they still proceeded to drink their faces off.

Throughout the night, these two were getting rowdier and rowdier. One of the guys got kicked out and the other one stuck around. While Justin and his best friend stepped away for a few minutes to discuss the rules of the competition, the one guy who was left behind came up to me - and the conversation went a little something like this:

    Him: Want to dance? *starts to do the salsa*
    Me: No, I'm good thanks.
    Him: Are you sure?
    Me: Yeah, I don't dance.
    Him: Oh. Is it because you're big?

No. No no no no no. NO. Excuse you, jackass "sir"... you don't have the right to say that kind of thing to me. There are so many things I wish I could've said, but I really just can't lash out or be mean to people in those kinds of situations. I wish I could yell at him for calling me "big", but I can't... so I'm writing it here, on this super public forum - because, why not?

Dear jackass,
How dare you call me big? Because EXCUSE YOU, you do NOT know my life - nor do you know that I used to be 110lbs heavier than I am now. I've worked hard for the body that I have, and I'm proud of everything I've accomplished. No, I'm not skinny (nor will I ever be) - but that doesn't give you the right to assume something about me based on my "appearance". You think I'm big? Awesome, keep that crap in your head - I don't need to hear it. I don't owe you ANY kind of explanation as to why I won't dance with you... just understand that NO MEANS NO. Based on the amount of alcohol that you consumed last night and the fact that you kept switching between different liquors and beers, I'm assuming you have a hangover from hell this morning - and I can't say you don't deserve it. Enjoy your joyous hump day, and try not to call anyone big today.
Not your biggest fan,

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

I want a taco

Do you ever just want to eat a taco? Duh. If you said no, WTF is wrong with you?

This is my current predicament today. I really want to eat a taco, or 42. You see, there's a taco eating competition at mine and Justin's favourite local drinking establishment TONIGHT. I really wanted to enter, and Justin really didn't want me to... So I didn't... and now I'm regretting this life decision.
But thanks to Lindsay for bringing up TACOS today, I'm now all over this idea again. Great.

A taco eating competition on Taco Tuesday? YES PLEASE. There are three reasons why YES YES YES:
    It's a competition.. hi, I'm competitive.
    It's Taco Tuesday.. which is always a good idea.

Have you ever eaten a bad taco? No. I bet not. But if you have, don't tell me about it.

Lets get back to the real issue at hand here though... Justin won't let me compete in the taco eating extravaganza, because he thinks I'll eat too many and I'll "get sick". Excuse you, sir.. you don't know my life (except that he does). We are probably going to go watch this whole crazy event take place and if I participate I don't want to spend the night being violently ill feeling sick and listening to him say "I told you so", because I'm pretty sure that actually the epitome of hell.

So here I am, taco-less on Taco Tuesday and day dreaming about those delicious little folded bundles of joy and love.
If you could 'taste' happiness, it would taste like a taco.

Now that I've rambled enough, and written an entire post about tacos... I'll shut up now.

But really though, have you ever seen anyone eat a taco with a frown on their face? Nope, because that's not a thing.

Monday, May 5, 2014

You Sunk My Battleship

It's Mondaaaay (obviously) and I'm already in a rambling kinda mood. Sorry (not sorry).

Why do weekends fly by faster than any other two days in the week? Monday & Tuesday, can't you go ahead and take after Saturday & Sunday and just do your thaaang in a much quicker fashion? No? This can't be a thing? Alright then.

I told you I was in a rambling mood... Anyway, I feel like I should do a weekend update (of sorts), but as I started writing this, I realized that I basically didn't take pictures this weekend. Since I don't blog as often (as I'd like to) anymore, I've stopped taking pictures for the blog, and my phone tends to stay in my purse or on the table not being used... (side note: I should work on this). Anyway, this weekend was spent with having a couple date nights with Justin (which we honestly haven't done in a long time), hanging out with Amanda (and her man friend), snuggling a beautiful baby girl that I've been dying to meet for about two months now, and (shockingly) relaxing a bit. I basically didn't leave my house on Sunday, and I can't tell you how glorious that was.

Selfie with Amanda because we never take pictures together.

Because duh.

Justin kind of got forced into going to a lunch with my colleagues on Saturday, but he was a really good sport about it.

On Saturday night, Justin and I went to a bar that has board games that you can grab from the bartender, and a bunch of other games - shuffle board, Buck Hunter (shooting game), pool table, arcades, etc... I showed up to meet him for a bit at 6/7 expecting to be there for an hour or two and then head back to my place to snuggle up and watch netflix (because we know how to party HARD), but we ended up having so much fun playing every game we could, we ended up walking out of there at 2:30ish. I'm pretty impressed by this.

I took this picture moments before Justin knocked the tower over.
We were sitting next to a table of guys who kept laughing every time Justin would lose a game and I'd win... I loved it.

...and then we made the mistake of playing Battleship... and I kicked his ass. I very quickly learned that Justin is just as competitive as me and isn't a fan of losing. I won our game fair and square, and he took to facebook to tell everyone I cheated. Ahem. Jerk.

On the left, only pay attention to the fact that he told the world I don't know 'how to play'... and on the right, accuses me of cheating. I forgot the rules of the game (because I haven't played it in TWENTY YEARS), and I forgot to tell him that he sunk my first battleship... oops. I'm pretty sure I'm never going to hear the end of this.


This weekend was a perfect dosage of fun and relaxation and I'm hoping it's enough to get me through the long week(s) ahead. Basically though, to sum up my weekend: you sunk my battleship.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Sometimes I Interview My Boyfriend

Last week Lindsay shared an interview with her husband, Andy... which was hysterical. Then on Monday, Juliette asked her boyfriend a series of interview questions. I totally stole their idea (and told them that I was doing this first) and interview Justin the other night while he was cooking us the most amazing burgers I've ever had in my entire life... no, that is not an exaggeration...

Anyway, I thought of a few easy questions, then Lindsay suggested a few hilarious questions, and it kind of turned into this whole shebang... for the record, Justin wasn't my biggest fan once this interview was over.. and I kinda sorta maybe feel a little bit bad about that. Maybe.

What's the name of my blog?
Justin: Cause you gotta have faith

What do I blog about?
J: Things and stuff.. kidding.. uhhh.. life, weight loss, Christmas advent calendar thingy, umm health but I said that...
F: that it?
J: yeah I guess.. I don't know

Do you know where I'm from?
J: yes
F: ... where?
J: oh, I didn't know I needed to answer that... Nova Scotia

Where is a girl going if she is going to the OBGYN?
J: uhh.. I don't know.
F: you really don't know?
J: I was thinking the gyno? *freaks out* DON'T PUT THAT IN THERE... I DON'T THINK I AM RIGHT.
F: *laughs hysterically*
J: please don't put that in there
F: it's okay, you were right
J: Oh. Okay that's fine then.

What is a current fashion trend?
J: WTF, I don't know... um beards.
F: really? you don't know a single fashion trend?
J: SHOES! You wear them on your feet.. they are always trendy.. WAIT! I've got it. Socks and sandals! Is that still a trend? Is it still the 1980's?
F: *laughs for a few minutes* for the record, that was NOT A TREND. EVER.

What would a girl use a Biore strip for?
J: For the record, I do NOT like these questions... but I don't know... to wax your whoohaa?
F: *laughs hysterically*
J: ugh next question

Am I a good enough cook?
J: yes
F: good answer
J: I know

What kind of products does Chi make?
J: CHI? WHAT IS THIS? Okay I got it.. they make tea, and yoga stuff, and incense?
F: *laughs*
J: This isn't fun anymore
F: Yes it is. So fun.

What are bobby pins? J: things you put in your hair
F: good job!
J: I was right???

Can you name a brand of tampon?
J: tampax? pampers? depends?
F: *dies* ... you should've stopped after your first guess, you were right. The others are NOT tampons.
J: I knew that.

There you have it, a really ridiculous interview with Justin... I just laughed all over again reading over this post. Poor, poor kid.

Justin - thanks for being such a good sport about this.

Happy Thursday.