Sometimes we all fall through decks, amirite?

Oh hi there, blog.
Sorry that I didn't show up to the party yesterday, but I voted for going out with friends on Tuesday night instead of writing a blog. Lame, I know.

If you read my blog title, you might be wondering WTF I'm talking about, so lets just get straight to the point.



This one time, I fell through a deck. I'd like to think that it doesn't have anything to do with my weight - because I was a lot younger and smaller when this happened... but I'm sure that my weight probably played a slight factor.

The year was probably 1997, and our parents forced us to go visit friends of theirs one evening. I think that Christian and I lasted a whole five minutes of boring adult conversations. Once we hit our 'max' limit of boring intake, we were bouncing off the walls trying to entertain ourselves. Mom and dad were less than impressed and banished us to the great outdoors.

The owners of the house felt slightly bad for us (I think) so they told us we could go hang out on their back deck. We went outside and did what we were best at - making up random games. We found this spot over in the corner of the deck that was 'softer' than the rest of the deck... of course this piqued our interest. We couldn't leave this spot alone, even if we tried - and we didn't try. We each took turns poking and prodding this spot. Christian took the first shot at lightly putting some weight on the spot and we noticed that it was 'bouncy' like a trampoline. I'm sure you can tell where this is going. We took turns playing with this soft spot (no idea WTF is wrong with us).

After bouncing up and down on the spot for 10 minutes...

I fell through.


{ Source }

Now to paint this picture, hopefully as well as Bob Ross, for all of you: this deck was probably 10-15 feet in the air, which is basically 30,000 feet when you're 9. I didn't fall all the way through and hit the ground, which probably would have been better. No, I fell and got stuck. Queue the extreme panic from both Christian and I. For a fleeting moment, we thought that Christian could casually pull me out of the hole and we could pretend like the massive gaping hole was always there. Ha. Such naive children.

After one or two pathetic attempts to try and pull me free, I start to PANIC. Like 'OMGZZZ I'M STUCK' kind of freak out. I screamed for mom and dad and Christian ran inside to grab them. They came running outside, along with the owners of the house, to find me casually chilling in the new hole that I had created.


{ Source }
This was the look on mom's face when she saw me stuck in the hole.

I vaguely remember dad wanting to laugh but keeping a stern look on his face the entire time. I'm pretty sure that mom and dad have never been so embarrassed in their entire lives. How do you apologize to someone after your daughter falls through their deck? After I saw "the look" from my parents, I thought I was going to be in the biggest trouble of my entire life, so I handled the situation with such grace, as 9 year olds typically do. I laid on the waterworks and tried to make the homeowners feel bad for letting me fall through their totally unsafe deck.
I was a jerk, I know.

At the end of the day, they got me out of the hole. I hung my head in shame and my parents took us home.
I still, to this day, feel terrible that I ruined their deck. But, I can proudly say that it had been 16 solid years without a deck incident. Here's to hoping that I make it another 16 years...