Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Why I'm Still Unsure If I Want To Be A Mom...


Someday I may or may not have children, and that will be swell. However, there are some things that I've realized that I'll never do when I have kids.


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  • Seriously, this picture couldn't be more accurate. I don't know who thought this was a good idea, but it's not. I don't need to know that in your little mini-van you have a dad, mom, a boy who plays baseball, two little twin girls with curly hair, and a cat. You have a mini-van, I've already assumed that you have children and that's you're happy as clams. Maybe I'll even call you the Happy-Clam Family. Yep. Either way, I refuse to be this mom.



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  • This is a fact, for sure. I love glitter, and I'd say that it's definitely my favorite color. If I have children, I will want to do all kinds of arts and crafts... with glitter. But I fear that my love for glitter will quickly turn to hate for glitter. Come on, they call it the herpes of arts and crafts for a reason.



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  • Yes, I'm sure I'll love my child unconditionally... or so they say. But I'm not going to be happy about waking up at 1:00am, 3:30am, and 4:45am before my alarm goes off at 5:00am. Thank goodness I'll have a husband - he will have to wake up with our spawn of satan that wakes up at ungodly hours love child.



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  • No, I can't even. Just no. I know that I probably did this when I was a child, actually I'm pretty sure I remember doing something similar to this. However, if my child does this, I may or may not disown him...



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  • I feel terrible that my child will end up being this girl pictured above. You know why? Because I am this girl. I trip every day, I walk into walls/doors/tables/desks/people every day. If I jumped off a dock with my friends, I would trip and fall into the water. My son or daughter will most definitely inherit this fantastic trait from me. I almost feel like I shouldn't have children so that they don't have to deal with this fate.



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Lets be real though, guys. I'm single and don't see that changing any time soon. I have a while before I need to worry about the terrible things that could happen if I became a mom...


7 comments:

Michael said...

You may have just become my new favorite blogger! Kids... meh. Stopping over from Two Thirds Hazel and I'm loving this post!

Stephanie said...

Hahaha, hilarious! All this and more, I just never want kids.

Helene said...

hahaha yes, this is awesome. ps i still may not have kids

RitaMarie said...

I'm sooooo lucky that my husband is agreeing with me about staying child-free. At first, we were gonna have ONE and now, he realizes all the things above (ok, not the glitter part). Having kids CHANGES EVERYTHING and I don't think either of us are down for that. Watch Life After 40; it scared the bejeesus outta him and made him think my idea to not have kids is groovy.

Brittany Lea said...

Aww your poor child will be that girl in the picture! Maybe your hubby will be your opposite in this dept and your kid gets his trait on this one! ;)

xo

Shane Prather said...

hahaha I love this! I feel the EXACT same way at this point!

\xo Shane

akuhei-nu said...

I never ever wanted to have kids (still don't technically) but it happened by accident. I DID hate getting up and dealing with it but.. gosh.. the first time that lil baby hugs you of his own free will once he gets a bit older is just the best thing ever. My mother adopted my son because I was far too young and unstable at the time but for the first few years I really did some growing up. I was so obsessed with myself and I realized it wasn't actually all about me anymore. It was a nice wake-up call.