Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Why I Don't Go Clubbing

I'm not going to lie to you, I can party.

I don't 'go hard' anymore, you know... because I'm trying to lose weight and trying to be responsible.
But, in my day (ha, I say this like I'm old), I have been known to be able to party hard. There may or may not have been one night where I consumed 28 shots. I'm pretty sure that Stephanie is the only one who would appreciate (or be proud of me for) that feat. I digress...

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I seriously love dancing. Love it. But ONLY when I'm alone. I'm a horrible, horrible, horrible dancer and I know it.
I can't handle dancing in front of other people (I'm pretty sure I just devastated Helene by saying this. Homegirl can DANCE). I can honestly tell you that I've only danced in front of other people maybe a dozen or two dozen times, max. I just don't do it. If I'm going to go out for a night of drinking with my friends, it's not at a club. I'd prefer a bar or pub where I can have a chill night with friends. That's just my style.

Warning: This post will be GIF-Heavy, and not safe for dial-up users.
p.s. If you're still using dial-up, I'm silently judging you...

    On rare occasions, when I do go clubbing, this is how all of the other girls are dancing:

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    Once I've had a few too many drinks, I finally decide to make my way to the dancefloor:

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    This how the super drunk girls are trying to get the guys attention:

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    This is how I try to get the guys attention:

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    The hot girls in the middle of the dance floor... The ones that all the guys are looking at:

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    I'm dancing in the corner, hoping that nobody is looking at me:

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    Some girls dance on the bar:

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    I can't even dance walk in heels:

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    Some girls twerk on the dancefloor:

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    This is how I twerk it:

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    Lets face it, even the guys can dance better than me:

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I wish that I could tell you that some of this post was an exaggeration, but it's not. So, friends and blog readers, please for goodness sake - DO NOT INVITE ME TO GO DANCING. I will need far too much alcohol and I will embarrass you and probably myself in the entire process. Just don't.

I'll leave you with this pretty little visual for you all. When I'm having dance parties, alone, this is what I think that I look like:

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In reality, I'm pretty sure that this is what I look like. Actually, I possibly look worse than this:

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Rachel Silski said...

Girl I felt like in school I broke it down but now I am pretty sure I am more a Mama June too. They will pay me to stop dancing.

Lisa said...

As long as you are having fun.. who cares what they think.. <3 Shake what your mamma gave ya!!!

Margaret said...

I'm a horrible dancer. But the more drinks I get in me, the better I think I am. I also think I'm a good singer at that it's really dangerous.

Helene said...

hahahaha omg this is awesome. and i still love you. but if we ever meet we are dancing. you just gotta go with the floooooow!

Emily Woodard said...

Ugh, I'm the same way! I'm a terrible dancer! I would go to functions in school and just stand there awkwardly. Now, I just don't go!

Steph G said...

This is the best thing I've seen all day. Your use of GIF's is nothing short of amazing.

Southern Sass said...

Bahaha this post pretty much summed me up!

Leslie said...

Hahahaha this is great! I honestly don't think I'm a great dancer, but as soon as I'm drunk I am obviously THE best dancer on the dance floor!

Stephanie said...

Haha! I AM impressed by 28 shots, that's awesome!
I bet you're better than you think! But, even if you're not, oh well! It's still fun!

Jess Elyse said...

I don't like dancing either. haha I'm just plain horrible!

But, this post definitely made me lol.

And the 28 shots is quite impressive.

Life of a Little Songbird said...

HAHA I love it! I can dance alright but I have no balance. So if I get too into it, its likely I will bust my booty.

Paige Nicole said...

haha love this post!! I want to think I'm a pretty good dancer. So yeah, I can dance!

But seriously, one time I was dancing and ended up flat on my back, staring at the ceiling and a couple of friends that were standing over me. No idea how that happened except that a lot of shots were involved, but I have no idea how many.