Retirement Ramblings Part II

Happy Hump Day!

I know I told you all last week that dad was going to be posting for my once a month, or every few weeks... but I really felt like this story needed to be shared sooner rather than later. This is a situation that happened to my dad in the Spring of 2010. He sent this EXACT e-mail to everyone in my family and I remember laughing so hard and forwarding it to a few of my colleagues immediately. Enjoy!

Take it away Daddy!

*P.S. Sorry for the ridiculous gif's dad, I thought they added a little pizzazz*

I thought I'd share a workplace adventure that took place in April 2012. Here is a post-adventure email that I sent to the facilities manager at my workplace.

..............................
Date: April, 2012
From: Peter Bowyer
To: Everyone

Subject: Washroom Debacle

While I had noticed the modifications that have been made to the men's washroom, I had never taken particular care to observe the subtle details of the workings of those changes.

As in dozens (hundred?) of times before, I entered the washroom and observed that my entering triggered the interior lights to come on. The purpose of my visit required the use of a stall. While involved in a spell of brief contemplation I observed that the main lights went out, clearly as a result of a timer. No worries as the emergency lighting was still on. This did not afford much lighting in the stall, however, much lightning was not required.

While engaged in contemplation someone else came into the washroom, thereby, enabling the full washroom lighting once again. His (I assume it was a male) sojourn was brief and he left. Within a brief period the main lightning extinguished, leaving me in the once-again dim glow of the emergency lighting.

Apparently, my "contemplation" period exceeded the scheduled tolerance because while I was still in-stalled, the emergency lights also timed out (unfortunately, I wasn't looking at my watch to know what the end of the tolerance window was). As well, since I chose to not take my blackberry with me in order to enjoy a purer form of contemplation, I was in pitch blackness … no blackberry light was available to come to my rescue.

Having been somewhat observant in the weeks leading up to today's adventure, I had noticed a device in the upper corner of the washroom, and had wondered if it was either a motion or sound detector. I clapped my hands; it was not a sound detector. Blackness prevailed.

Unfortunately, I was a particularly undignified stage of my business rendering me incapable of standing in order to wave my arms to test if the device was a motion detector. Waving my feet out of the stall door was ineffective and my conclusion was that perhaps motion needed to happen at a higher level. So, in the dark, I extracted a toilet paper roll from the newly installed dispenser (one which I had never closely examined … so the extraction was a non-trivial process in the dark). Once extracted, I tossed it in the air in such a way that it would trip the potential motion-detector, and then fall straight back into my awaiting arms (in the dark). Here's where the adventure occurred … it was the only roll in the stall … and my stage of business demanded that I not lose hold of this particular roll.

The story had a happy ending because, sure enough, the device was a motion detector. The ascending roll turned on the lights in time for me to see the descending roll so that I could confidently catch it. Happily, everything came out all right (pun intended).

Lessons learned?

Take your BB with you to the washroom even if you seek pure contemplation … you never know when a little light will come in handy.

Study the toilet paper dispenser carefully in the light in the event that you need to make a roll-extraction in the dark.

Practice throwing toilet paper rolls so that they go straight up and come straight back down.

Observe multiple sequences of the twin-lightning timers in order to know confidently what the windows of tolerance (opportunity) actually are.

Train yourself to complete all business within those windows of opportunity.

Work is never a dull place if you're open to adventure! But I do wonder if our search for efficiency has gone just a tad too far?