Let me start by saying... I'm probably the clumsiest person that anyone will ever meet. This honestly isn't a dramatic statement or a hyperbole in the slightest - I legitimately walk into at least one thing every single day, but usually it's more like 5-10 things (walls, tables, doors/door frames/door ways, people, etc). It is a normal occurrence for me to come home from work and tell Amanda (my roommate) about the amount of times I fell/tripped/walked into something that day. Okay okay, so now that you understand where I'm coming from - let's get this story started.
So while I'm clumsy, I'm usually pretty solid and able to hold my ground while I'm on the bus. Every day I typically sit in the same seat, or the same general area. As a rule to myself - I don't sit in the top section of the bus. Stairs + Faith = not friends, especially not on a moving vehicle.
Well, one day, I decided to be 'adventurous' (honestly, I don't even know why I went up there - but I did)... so I ventured up into the back part of the bus - up the stairs.
No big deal.
I chilled in the back, listening to some music and watching out the windows as we drove down the busy downtown streets of Vancouver. I mentally made note that my stop was the next one, so after we left the last stop before mine, I pulled the cord and stood up. I held onto the bar and took a step forward.
Just at that EXACT moment, some idiot ran across the street - in front of my bus - and the bus driver SLAMMED on the brakes. People in their seats shifted quite a bit, but remember how I was standing? Yeah... thaaaaat happened. So the brakes get slammed, and I lurch forward. There's literally nothing graceful about me, so it wasn't like I just slid a little bit... Nope, that's not how I roll.
I didn't know what to do, and I refused to fall on my face, so I just ran forward. I don't know how else to explain it. To keep from falling, I just prolonged my trip by 'running' it out, so I ran forward, tripped down the stairs, and ran... all the way to the front of the bus. Want to know how I stopped? I literally ran into the pay station at the front of the bus next to the driver. After I smashed into the machine, I kind of lost it - laughing hysterically. I glanced over at the bus driver and he looked at me like this:
He was seriously concerned for my well-being, along with all of the other bus patrons. He asked me if I was okay, and I assured him - a few times - that I was definitely okay and he could continue driving since the next stop was mine (and Lord knows I needed to get off that bus).
That's when it happened - as the driver was pulling away, somebody in the back of the bus clapped. I turned around (this being the part where I should be mortified), chuckled and nodded my head as if I were taking a bow. The bus stopped, and I literally tore those doors open, jumped off the bus, and ran to the office.
There you have it friends, my
I should probably be embarrassed by this kind of thing by now, but really - if I were normal, my life would probably be boring.