Friday, January 25, 2013

why you should always bring back-ups...

Happy Friday, lovelies!

Sorry I wasn't around here yesterday - I wasn't feeling well and decided not to play on the interwebz.

Today I've decided to share another life story with you all, because... as you all know - I have no shame.

This week I had my annual review with my boss - I decided that I'd like to look nice for this meeting, and opted to wear a dress. {Side note about me, until this past year, I haven't owned nor have I worn a dress since my grade 12 prom, before that - grade 9 grad, grade 6 grad, etc.} Anyway... this past year I bought not only one dress, but two dresses... and a skirt. I don't know who I am these days - but I like feeling a bit 'girlier'. Okay, so I'm totally distracted... let's get back to the story:

So on Tuesday I had my review {at 12:30pm}. I wore a black dress, pink sweater, and black panty hose. I have three pairs of panty hose - one pair that I've worn about 7 or 8 times, and two brand new pairs. I debated wearing a new pair that morning, but ended up just wearing the ones that were already open. So I finish getting ready, leave the house, and head to work. Everything is going well - in fact it's dandy. I got some lovely compliments on my outfit, and everything seemed right in the world.

Here is said outfit:

At about 10:00am I needed to pee {sorry for sharing, but it's part of the story}. I head to the washroom, do my business, and that's that. As I'm pulling up my panty hose, my nail snagged on the front/inside of my left thigh. I curse under my breath and make a mental note to be careful not to snag it any further so I don't get a nasty run. As I'm heading out of the washroom, my clumsy self dropped the washroom key on the ground. I bent down to pick up the key and felt the little snag quickly become a hole. You see, I'm really not graceful... so I didn't bend down in a ladylike way {I clearly forgot I was wearing a dress}. I stand up, key in hand, and head back over to the mirror to check out the damage I had just done - I pulled up my dress {only just a little bit - don't get so excited} and saw that I did in fact have a hole.
Great. Aint nobody got time for that - right, Sweet Brown?

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I head back to my desk and 'discreetly' sit down gently so that I don't make the hole worse. I glance at the clock and see that it's 10:05 - I still have 2.5 hours to go until my review and I need to make sure that this hole doesn't turn into a bad situation. After about 30 minutes of sitting at my desk in an awkward position so I wouldn't destroy the panty hose {yep, I'm weird, I know}, I completely forget that I have a hole and I cross my leg under me {side note: this is how I typically sit at my desk}. As soon as I do this, my heart stops, and I remember the little hole... which as you can now guess - is a massive gaping hole. I quickly get up, run to the washroom to examine the new damage. Friends, it was bad, like really bad. Like, I shouldn't even be admitting this, kind of bad. I don't know what to do at this point. I don't have any time to go shopping and buy a new pair of panty hose before my review, and to be honest - I didn't shave that morning {hey, I was wearing knee-high boots, and panty hose, so I pulled the lazy girl move and skipped the extra 5 minutes in the shower} so having bare legs wasn't an option.

At this point, I consult with my friend/colleague, Jennie. I explain the situation... she laughs... a lot, and then examines the damage. She assures me that nobody can see the run below my skirt line unless they are looking for it. I breathe a sigh of relief and remain seated for the next hour or so until my review.

As I'm getting up from my desk to head to my manager's office at review time, I smash my knee on the corner of my desk...I think you know where this is going. The hole got bigger yet again. I quickly pulled the hem of my dress down and headed into the meeting. I sat as still as a I could, and managed to not stretch the hole any further.

By this point, I didn't really care about replacing my panty hose since my meeting was over and I only had to get through a few more hours. I won't go into any more detail about the rest of my afternoon... but I will tell you that by the time I got home, the size of the hole was outrageous. I had to laugh. I don't know how I managed it, friends. Honestly, I got a lot of strange looks on the bus - and I know people were judging me... but I just didn't care. No embarrassment for this girl.

This is the end of my story and, friends, I learned a great lesson - always bring a back-up pair of panty hose when you have an important event.

* One last side note - I tried to google 'panty hose tear gif' - oh my word, I truly am naive to think that this would be an innocent gif... I got a lot of porn on my monitor that I didn't bargain for. Do yourself a favor and don't google it. *

Have a fantastic weekend!

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