The Time That I Tried To Meditate

Happy Monday, loves.

No mumbles and grumbles today. It's a new week - lets all enjoy it : )

I'd like to start this post by saying Happy 93rd Birthday to my adorable Papa. I love you more than anything and I'm sorry that I'm not in Halifax to celebrate with you today.


Papa and I - Circa 1989


Papa and I - Circa 2007? 2008? 2009? Not sure.

On Saturday night I grabbed some dinner and drinks with two of my favorite guys. While we were chatting about life, it came out that I have insomnia (most nights). Ambrose suggested that I try meditation. Ha! - I literally laughed in his face. Meditate? I asked - You want me to meditate? Ambrose proceeded to explain the proper ways of meditation and he suggested that I try it during nights when I can't sleep. While I appreciate the suggestion, I don't know if I'm able to concentrate long enough to actually achieve any true meditative state.

Let me explain what I mean....


When you tell me to sit in the quiet - no music, no talking, no nothing - this is most likely how I'll act.

I have tried meditating before and it was never successful: I always start out great. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, eyes closed, slow steady breathes. One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi, Four... I think I probably last about 30 seconds and then I open my eyes. I stare straight ahead and focus on my wall/carpet. Everything is calming and my brain is almost clear when I think (and yes, I swear that these are real thoughts): The carpet is threaded so neatly, then I will think about it for a second and then how was this carpet made? what kind of thread do they use? how long did it take to make this?

Side-note: I've discovered that the biggest issue that I have with silence is that I ALWAYS want to be listening to music.
I also have this desire to sing, dance, you name it... I just love music.
I have to sit in an office for at least eight hours every day and I can't listen to music. I may look calm and professional on the outside, but on the inside I'm having a constant dance party:



Anyway, back to the meditation: I sat there for about two minutes, just wondering how the carpet was made, and why paint starts out as 'white'... When I started this whole relaxing meditation thing, I had a lot on my mind, and when I ended I had even more on my mind. Now I had to go to Google to figure out how carpet is made, and how paint gets tinted.
I don't want to ruin the surprise for all of you, so I'll let you Google that stuff on your own.

This is why I haven't tried meditating again. It wasn't exactly relaxing, and without being able to have a dance party, it was quite boring.
But, I trust Ambrose and his alternate methods, so I will test them out and hopefully they help.

See you all tomorrow - I'll be posting my 'Canadian' Review of the Erin Condren - Life Planner.

Shout-Out to any of my colleagues reading this... if you ever want to have a dance party, I'm your girl.