Friday, January 10, 2014

Wise Words from a Dad

Happpppppy Friday, love muffins.  <--- who am I right now?

It's Friday, Friday... and as Rebecca Black would say.. you gotta get down on Friday.

Shout out to the most awkward GIF, ever.

If this song is now stuck in your head, you're welcome. 'Cause Lord knows it'll definitely be stuck in my head allllll day. Damn you, Rebecca Black.

Anyway, in an attempt to wash that horrid song out of my brain, I'm going to link up with my girl Whitney for a little #backthatazzup action.

Ice by Kelly Rowland Feat. Lil Wayne on Grooveshark

I was planning on posting something COMPLETELY different, but while I was sitting down to write this post - a friend shared something amazing on Facebook. This is a post that Scott Sonnon shared on his Facebook page about his daughter having her first crush, and his letter to her. This letter completely spoke to me. No, I'm not an 11 year old girl. No, Scott isn't my dad. No, this isn't my exact situation. But this letter just hit me hard when I read it, and I just knew these words needed to be shared on my blog.
Ladies - If you're having boy issues, you may really appreciate these words.

I met the boy my daughter has her first crush on at eleven years young. He seems healthy, athletic and happy, but I don't know anything about what it was like to be like that as a boy. I wasn't any of those things at his age. So, out of pure curiosity, while driving my daughter home from a dance, I asked her about him. She confided in me: "Dad, it's no big deal. He's not even interested in me anyway and I wouldn't know how to be interesting to him."

I replied, "You don't have to try to interest anyone, sweetheart. You're brilliant, courageous, graceful and gorgeous. I find you to be fascinating, and continually surprise me with the things you do and say and think, just be being yourself. Boys don't know what they want because their brain won't stop being cooked until they're 25, but after then, they have a chance to become adult men. Then, the right man will realize how awesome you already and always are."

The conversation felt like it went well, but last night, I thought longer about her comment. This morning, I sit down to write out what I'd like to say to her:



You never need to try to be interesting to anyone, boy or girl. That's not your job in life. Your only job is to know in your heart without any cloud of confusion or fog of hesitation that you are worthy of anyone's interest without trying. You are perfectly worthy just as you are; just like everyone else is, even if you or others (or your Mom and I) get confused about our individual worth, or about the worth of each other.

If you continue to believe in yourself, you'll radiate. Boys, and eventually when you're grown up - men, will be attracted to you because of who you really are in your heart of hearts. You won't need to try to be interesting because the second most important man in your life will be interested in everything you are (the most important man in your life - me - already is and always will be.)

I don't know much about what it is to be a healthy, happy boy. Your Dad hadn't been those things. But I can tell you what it's like to be a healthy, happy person: You don't need to keep the interest of healthy, happy people. They're interested in you purely because you are confident in your fascinatingly unique, wonderfully weird (in other words - AWESOME) self.

One day you'll meet a boy and he will be overwhelmed by you, and you by him. When you're young and someone likes you, it feels like the the entire world is in the moments you are near each other. But your worth isn't dependent upon him feeling this way toward you (or you toward him). A good boy will feel this way about you because you are perfectly worthy of it... Already and Always.

When he comes to our house to meet us, you'll be scared of what we think of him because of how you feel when he's so smitten by you.

Even if he places his elbows on our table, as long as he places his eyes on you when you tilt your head and lift your shoulders when you giggle at your own silly jokes - and then can't look away - then we will love him too.

Even if he doesn't want to wrestle with me, come training with me, or go hunting with the other men in your family during holiday get-togethers, if he can romp with the beautiful children you create together, and fawn in all of the wonderfully frustrating ways that your children are exactly like you, then we will love him too.

Even if he doesn't dedicate his life to his finances, if - like you - he follows his passion to help others, while standing right next to you as you do, then we will love him too.

He doesn't need to be strong like your Dad... As long as he exercises the most important muscle - his heart, by loving and honoring you as much as your Mom and I do you (and each other), then we will love him too.

We don't care about his politics or viewpoints, if he makes you the most important person in his life and considers how every action impacts you, as you do him.

We don't care about the culture he comes from, or the place he was born, as long as he calls standing next to you wherever you are - home.

It doesn't matter to us what religion he practices, if he understands that you and your relationship together are inherently sacred, and every day that he gets to spend with you - a blessed gift.

I don't care if he has nothing in common with your Dad, for if he's completely different in every detail, he and I will have the most important common interest worthy of our complete dedication: you.

In the end, the only thing you'll ever need to do to keep our interest is just be you, already and always as you are each and every moment.

Love you,

I thought to share this with you, my readers, because the world may be changing at a very rapid rate, but the confusion of being a Dad - and total absence of a fatherhood instruction manual - causes me to reach out to those of you who are facing similar conversations with their growing children. Perhaps, together, in our individual heartfelt love of our little ones, we can help create a generation to understand that they don't need to try to be a certain way to be worthy... to be happy. They only need to be perfectly themselves, as they already and always are.

Very Respectfully,
Scott Sonnon


I feel like there's nothing else that needs to be said. Scott nailed it. Abso-freakin-lutely nailed it. This is exactly what I needed to read this week.

Happy weekend, friends.


The Pink Growl said...

Wow that letter is amazing! I really needed to hear that too this morning. It brought me to tears!!

Jay T said...

That is amazing and I'm so glad you shared it!! (I'm talking about the GIF but you knew that right? Kidding) (WINK)

Kathy @ Vodka and Soda said...

omg. i am at work ugly crying over this. so beautiful and 100000% true. thanks for sharing this beautiful letter!

Vodka and Soda

DeborahYanni said...

I absolutely needed this!! Ugh!! I'm a teary mess! lol

Allie @ Tales of a TwentySomething said...

Well this. I'm not crying, I'll just say that.

Pistol Pete said...

From another Dad (yours), that was beautifully written ... the sentiments are powerful. Thanks for passing this along ... very inspirational.
Love ya

shannon said...


now i'm a sobby mess.