Monday, January 6, 2014


Happy Monday, lovelies.

I was sitting at my desk staring at this blank page, trying to decide what to write, and I was blasting Queen Bey's album - because it's amazing, duh. While I was having a little dance party in my seat, Flawless came on and I stopped and just listened to the lyrics for a minute. This song, guys... this song just resonates with me.

I love this song for a few reasons...
It's got a great beat, and I love running and dancing to this song. Beyonce is simply on fire in this song, and the song definitely gets me pumped up. But, the reason I really love this song is because of the amazing message that Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie delivers in the middle of this song:

We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls:
"You can have ambition,
But not too much.
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful,
Otherwise you will threaten the man."
Because I am female,
I am expected to aspire to marriage.
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important.
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support,
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors.
Not for jobs or for accomplishments,
Which I think can be a good thing,
But for the attention of men.
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are.
Feminist: the person who believes in the Social,
Political, and Economic equality of the sexes.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie in 'Flawless' by Beyonce

As women, we often believe that we are not enough. We are not thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or rich enough. We compete with each other for the attention of men (or other women, if that's your thing), and the competition gets a little out of hand - and we get nasty. We belittle each other... which, in turn, causes us to belittle ourselves. I strongly believe that we are better than this.

This could, very quickly, turn into a rant... so I'm just going to leave it with a few plain and simple words:

Know that you worth it - whatever it may be.
Love yourself.
Be kind.

This is why I probably shouldn't blog after a glass or two of wine.


Jay T said...

I love you. And I think everybody should read this.

Allie @ Tales of a TwentySomething said...

NO. This is exactly why you should blog after two glasses of wine (lets be honest, you probably had 3 or 4) and every other time. <3 LOVE YOU MORE THAN JULIETTE DOES. (tweet her about that, so she'll see it) KTHANKSBYE

Liz @ Fitness Blondie said...

OMG! This is so crazy because yesterday at the gym, I downloaded "Flawless" by Beyonce and my favorite part was Ngozi Adichie saying that. I was actually going to Google it and put it as my status on FB.

This is the damn truth and we all need to copy and paste this shit everywhere.

Preach baby.

Tina Goodthing said...

luv it

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Kristy said...

Hi! I'm a new reader, and I absolutely love that you posted this. My favorite line(s) are:

But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?

Seriously though. I'm single, in grad school, and at the ripe age of 23, I feel like I'm doing something wrong because I'm not married (or even close to it).

shannon said...