Thursday, January 16, 2014

Check Your Pants First

Y'all know I'm clumsy, as demonstrated in posts A through Zed...

It has been a hot minute since I've shared one of my clumsy (and 'should be' embarrassing) stories, so that's what I'm bringing to the table today. A lesson on why you should ALWAYS, I mean always check your pants before you put them on.

So this story took place a few years ago, when I was living in Halifax and working at a medical (sleep apnea to be exact) clinic. I was the receptionist in a small office, and at the time there were only three of us working in said office. For the record, neither of the two women that I was working with at the time knew that this issue took place. Because I completely kept it under wraps, until of course I decided to publicly share it with the world right at this very moment..
(like the classy broad that I am).

For the record, when I share this kind of crap on my blog, this is EXACTLY how I expect you all to be reacting when you read my horrific tales. Don't disappoint me or ruin this vision for me.

Anyway -- so this one particular morning, I slept in and I was rushed to get out the door. Remembering that I had washed all of my appropriate work pants the night before, I ran downstairs to the dryer, pulled out the first pair of pants that I found and ran out the door. When I got to the office, I went about my normal 'everyday tasks' and puttered around. My left leg kept feeling really odd, and I kept scratching it with my right foot but it didn't seem to really fix the problem. But, instead of checking my leg, like a NORMAL PERSON WOULD, I just continued to scratch it every time the itch came back and carried on with my duties - the itch finally subsided and I didn't think anything of it.

We had patients coming in and out of the office all morning, and for the most part - I was stuck behind the reception desk keeping busy. I got up to head down the hall to get things from our storage closet and back-room (where we kept our inventory) a few times, but remained pretty stationary for most of the morning. Around 11:30am (2.5 hours after getting there) I headed down the hallway to one of my colleagues offices to drop some paperwork off and came back to my desk.

On my way back to my desk, I discovered something. I discovered why the itch had left me. Right there, smack dab in the middle (it was actually not the middle, but pushed to the side)(I say middle for the ADDED DRAMATIC EFFECT) of the floor, was a bring pink pair of underwear. MY bright pink underwear. I panicked.

I looked around, gasped, and picked them up quickly and ran to my desk to shove them in my purse.
WHY IS MY UNDERWEAR ON THE FLOOR? I thought. Then quickly realized that my leg had been itching all morning because they must have been trapped in my pant leg. Crap, crap, crap. I panicked again. I realllllly hope nobody saw these. Then my mind started going through all the possible scenarios. I settled on the fact that at least it was a cute pair, and not an old ratty pair.

But seriously - THANK HEAVENS there wasn't a single person in the waiting room, and both of my colleagues had been in their offices all morning with back to back client work. To this day, I have no idea how long that pair of underwear sat on the floor, unnoticed. Actually, I don't know if it was unnoticed. There's a definite possibility that one of our patients actually SAW the underwear but didn't say anything.

That's my valuable life lesson for you fine people today. Check your pants.
You're welcome.

Also, I guarantee that my colleague Mihnea just read this story on his train-ride to work and I'm never going to hear the end of this today...


Allie @ Tales of a TwentySomething said...

at least it wasn't a spider... also i appreciate your usage of y'all like you're southern or something. cute.

Jay T said...

I was afraid it was going to be a spider. And you are so lucky nobody saw those!

Debra Grant said...

I had that once. While in a bar I hadn't realised anything was wrong or anything, then my friend asked me if the sock on the floor under me was mine lol I just said no and kicked it under the sofa.

Vicki said...

I have almost had this happen before but luckily I noticed them before I left the house! I'm just laughing thinking about what I would do if I was a patient and saw them lying there!!

Kathy @ Vodka and Soda said...

this happened to me today too. but instead of hot pink underwear, it was my daughters velco build-a-bear cinderella crown that was stuck to my ass THE WHOLE TIME I WAS OUT RUNNING ERRANDS AND AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE. i was wondering why people were looking at me and i chalked it up to the new scarf i had made but nope, it was the velcro shit stuckk to my ass. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE SAY ANYTHING?!

Vodka and Soda

Leanne Redding said...

HAHAHAHA I am dying over here!!

Britt said...

I also was thinking it was going to be a spider when I was reading. Thank God. I would've run into oncoming traffic if I discovered a spider in my pants leg!

shannon said...

i thought this was going to go the route of poop in pants. THANK GOD.

NOW were they sexy type underwear or of the granny variety?