Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Oops, My Beaver Is Showing...

We all have weird search terms, it's just one of those little 'quirks' about blogging. Sometimes they're normal, sometimes they're weird, sometimes they're creepy, but usually - almost always - they're funny. I've taken a few screenshots, over the past couple months, of search term that have stuck out to me and made me giggle, and now you fine people of the internet can laugh with me. You're welcome.

Well, I don't really know how to even address this one. What. Is. Fatting? Gaining weight? Putting on fat? Eating something that is fattening? Whatever, I give up. I know I've blogged a lot about my weight loss progress, so I'll just chalk it up to that.

"I hate siri" 
Yeah, me too. I appreciate our mutual disrespect for her annoying tendencies. She's always auto correcting my words, and trolling me, and enough is enough. I'm guessing this search term is for the post I dedicated to Siri.

"Red plastic spoon"
Long story short, I once had a red (DQ) plastic spoon that I loved more than anything in the world (I was 3, cut me some slack). But I did blog about it, so I guess that's what this search term is for... But who searches 'red plastic spoon' anyway?

"Not going clubbing"
Nope, I'm not going to. When Carlton Banks can dance better than you can, you avoid all clubs as much as possible. I just DO NOT go clubbing. But again, who looks this kind of thing up?

"Outgrew finished growing taller now..."
Go home internet, you're drunk.

"Drunk selfies"
Well duh. Don't mind if I do...

"Too many selfies I'm guilty for that"
Not 1, not 2, but 3 people other than myself are guilty of taking too many selfies. Thanks for making me feel better about myself guys. Next time though, please work on the grammar in your search terms.

Okay, but really? This is definitely a common search term - I get that, but did they have to go to page 479 on Google to actually get a link to my blog? I blogged about it once, but it really wasn't a big deal.

"laying her hair on the ironing board"
Weird, just weird. And TWO people looked that up and got my blog? Even weirded.

"don't eat mushrooms"
Nope, I'm a firm believer in this. I hate them.

"foxtrot tango alpha funny" 
Ummmm what? FTAF? 

"why have kids if your unsure"
Well, first of all... if you can't properly use your/you're, then just do not reproduce.

Also, all the other search terms on that one are just weird.

We've been over this. You don't eat them, you throw them in the garbage where they belong. THEY ARE A FUNGI.

Yeah sure?

English much? I'm not facebook for date either...

First of all, a 21 year old should not be calling a 'birthday' or 'bday' a 'bdae'. This is not a sundae. This makes my brain hurt a little.

"oops my beaver is showing"
And then there's this one. My favourite search term of ALL TIME. Is this supposed to be a Canadian joke? A stupid sexual innuendo? I don't know, but I love it. And no, my beaver isn't showing.


Sarah said...

Don't judge me: in junior high and HS, I couldn't use a hair straightener, so I totally ironed my hair (but I did it on the ground, on a towel). Totally worked, and was quick too!

Lindsay Landgraf said...

“Foxtrot tango alpha funny” sounds like it should be code for something. Probably your super secret spy life. Have we talked about how I don’t eat mushrooms either and that is just further evidence of our tripletness? STOP SHOWING YOUR BEAVER ON THE INTERNET, FAITH.

Jay T said...

I really needed this laugh today so thank you very much never stop being you.

Anonymous said...

That last one is just oh so Canadian. In my first professional job my supervisor was in his late 70's. Sharp as a tack, but not up to date a current innuendo's. Anyways, a neighboring town had voted to change the name of its football team because it was a pretty offensive Iroquois word. He kept on insisting the school should call the team the "Beavers". I could never figure out how to tell him that would never work out at the high school level. *Sarah Grace

Kenzie Smith said...

This is hilarious! I laughed out loud at the last one -- oops my beaver is showing. Too funny!