Thursday, September 18, 2014

Sh*t My Boyfriend Says...

So, it's Thursday and I have yet to make an appearance around these parts yet this week... I really struggle as a lifestyle blogger. Remember that time I blogged every day in July? I'm thinking I might need to do something like that again for October or November to get back in my blog-game-groove-whatever.

Anyway, that was super rambly and long winded for no reason. The whole point of this post is to make fun of highlight some of the more hilarious qualities of my boyfriend, Justin.
Justin, I love you... please don't hate me for this post.

Justin is a HUGE sleep-talker. It is one of the funniest things in the world to me, because I've never really experienced this before. Whenever I had sleepovers as a child (or teenager... or adult), none of my friends (nor me... to my knowledge anyway) ever talked in their sleep. Honestly, I love that Justin talks in his sleep... it has provided countless hilarious conversations - some which I can't remember, but I know they were hilarious, and some were just WAY too funny to forget.

I feel like a few of the hilarious stories should be shared, because if I can't embarrass my boyfriend on my blog than what is the point of blogging? A little dramatic, but whatever. 

So, for the record, every single one of these conversations ACTUALLY happened. Yes, I like to talk back to him and provoke conversations (because it's hilarious, y'all would do the same thing).

Justin: Arghhhhh
Faith: What? What's wrong?
J: 210!!! (yells)
F: What? What's 210?
J: I SAID 210!!! (still yelling)
F: Seriously, what the heck is 210?
J: MY SHIELD (still yelling).
F: *giggles* Um, your what?
J: *snoring*

J: *sighs*
F: Morning babe!
J: *sighs again*
F: Are you okay?
J: *in a sad voice* My hammer is broken.
F: Your hammer? ..... okay, why is it broken?
J: Because I bought it at Pier 1.
F: *laughs loud enough to wake Justin up*
J: UGH, did I just talk in my sleep?
F: Nope, not at all, go back to bed.

*alarm goes off*
J: Nooooooo
F: *rolls over* Justin? are you awake?
J: *grabs me and holds on tight*
F: Justin, the alarm is going off, we have to get up
J: Go get the door
F: What? there's nobody at the door, we have to wake up now.
J: I can't let go
F: Please let go of me, I need to get up
J: *sighs* If I let go then I CAN'T HOLD THE PIZZA DELIVERY MAN!!
F: *laughs hysterically*
J: *wakes up* Nooooo, WHAT DID I SAY?
F: *still laughing, can't breathe* were you dreaming about a pizza delivery man?
J: I have no idea what you're talking about

J: No no no no no
F: What's no no no no no?
J: We don't have enough HUP's or NAC's for the month right now. The GP is down and Jim's going to be pissed.
F: Wait, is this for real or are you sleeping?
J: Can you hand me that phone?
F: Okay, so you're sleeping
J: We have to get our sales up
F: Babe, wake up - you're dreaming about work.. again
J: It's all about the ARPU
F: *shakes him*
J: Hey! I'm sleeping here.
F: *sighs*

F: *kisses Justin's cheek* Good morning
J: mmmmmmmmmorning
F: Why are you so handsome? (I try and be really nice in the mornings)
J: See, this *points to face*, is what happens when you carve a face out of an angel
F: Wow, really? You're the angel in this relationship? Isn't it supposed to be me?
J: There are boy angels, Faith. *exasperated sigh* But yes, I'm the angel in this relationship.
F: What about me?
J: ...What about you?

There have been probably 20-30 more hilarious ones, but some are probably too inappropriate to share and some I just cannot remember. But regardless, I always find such joy and amusement in the sh*t he says.

You should all hear the sh*t he says when he's awake... he's lucky he's cute(ish).


Jay T said...

I thought you were going to say "if I can't embarrass my boyfriend on my blog than what is the point of having a boyfriend?"

I want to have a sleepover with you two just so I can witness these conversations and also participate in them.

Lindsay Landgraf said...

I LOVE YOU JUSTIN. There. I said it. I’m with J, can I come over and have slumber parties and participate in the sleeping conversations? This is amazing. I recommend a vlog version of these conversations. (Yes, I did just ask you to record your boyfriend while he sleeps. Be cool about it.)

Kim @ Kimberleys Quests said...

These are amazing! I wish my husband talked in his sleep- that would make my life much more entertaining! Usually it's me waking him up in the middle of the night shouting about something, but it's never as interesting as you & Justin's convos!

Becca @ Becoming Adorrable said...

I think Justin thinks he's Thor. Tim talks in his sleep, too, but I can usually only ever get him to say "yes" or "no".

Anonymous said...

Haha! I love it. I am totally a sleep talker. Always have been.

Melzie at Ribbons and Rotor Blades said...

I'm jealous you can understand him!!! Nick mumbles and it's very rare that I can make out what he says.

shannon said...

we need to double date. ASAP.