Hasta La Vacation

It's Friday, it's Friday, it's Fridayyyyy.

I'm sorry that I've been slacking this week. I, unfortunately, hurt myself pretty badly during a workout on Tuesday night and I've been a write-off and just an overall struggle ever since. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. But seriously, it's been a crazy week at work and I've had absolutely zero time for playing on the interwebz.


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However, to day is the happiest of days.. because I'm ON VACATION!
Well, technically I'm on my way to work for a few hours, but then I'M ON VACATION.

You won't see me around these parts next week since I'll be in Halifax visiting friends and family and gallivanting. I'm trying to focus on work and get through the day, but my mind has basically already checked out at this point. This vacation is long overdue and I can't wait to have a solid week of not having to think about anything.

This is for those of you who don't know where British Columbia or Nova Scotia are. I'm travelling from the Pacific to the Atlantic.

So because I'm completely lazy and not feeling like thinking of something super creative, I'm going to share some good 'ol fashioned reality tv GIF's that I think completely relate to me and my vacation.



Mama June knows what's up. This is basically what I'd like to do for an entire week. I'll try not to gain 10lbs while I'm in Nova Scotia, but I make no promises.



Lord Disick, no truer words have ever come out of your mouth.
I'll take fun and relaxation for $500, Alex.



There's a theme here so far.. have you caught on yet? No, okay...



Yes please. Right now.



Um, yep. I'm definitely good with this. I doubt it'll happen in Nova Scotia, but a girl can wish...


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This is basically my conclusion. I just have to take a trip to accomplish all of these things. Good thing I'm on a flight tonight.



Of course I have to #backthatazzup with Ms. Whitney today. Duh.

I'll have some fabulous people around these blog-parts next week and I promise you won't want to miss their posts!

Hasta la vista my lovelies.

What happens in Canada, STAYS in Canada

Oh hiiii everyone. Sorry I'm super late to the party today, but I had zero ambition to write anything. But I have a good excuse..

See what had happened was... I injured my back pretty badly in last night's workout. So much so, that I complained to Allie and Juliette about it and made them feel sorry for me. So much so, that Allie agreed to write today's post so that I wouldn't have to - thanks girl.
I'm going to stop rambling and let Allie take it away....

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So I've decided something. Either I cave really easily to peer pressure or I just will jump at the chance to make myself look really stupid to the entire world. Neither one is really a good habit, so I'll just let you decide. Speaking of peer pressure, I'm here today because the Queen B of this blog made me do it. And I come through for my friends, just FYI.
Maybe I should back up and introduce myself. PS another thing you should know is I will never miss the opportunity to talk about me. I think it's one of my better qualities actually. You can normally find me over at Tales of a Twenty Something, but I'm not there today, so go visit me tomorrow. Much like Faithykins I talk about online dating. And that will be the hot topic around those parts tomorrow. Oh and hey, that's me down there in case you were wondering.

Okay back on topic. The next thing you should know is that I live in "The States" as Faithy refers to them. She's in Canada, just in case you missed that little memo. You should also know that tons and tons and tons of random things go through my mind on a daily basis. Especially things about different countries, see: Canada.
So when Faith practically begged me to fill in for her today, I knew that was just the ticket. I'm going to share all the things that me and Jilly Bean wonder about Canada and all other countries for that matter, but specifically Canada because Faith can answer them for us. Please don't think we are dumb. We are just curious.
1. Can Canadians text those of us in America or is there some crazy cost? I promise Juliette and I questioned this when we all decided to take the blogger plunge and group text. I mean. Shouldn't it be really expensive? Apparently not. Well since we all have iPhones. iMessage for the win.
2. Do they have regular bacon or only Canadian bacon? This was a concern of Juliette's. Which I fully support. I mean it's a valid concern. It's named CANADIAN bacon after all. But contrary to popular belief, they have the good bacon too.
3. Do they drive on the right or left side of the road? I'm pretty sure they drive on the right side. I only know this because my parents recently went to Niagara Falls and they rented a car. And I know my mom is too much of a spazz to be able to drive on the left side of the road.

Uhh seriously, Allie? RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD.
4. Why do they add "u" to words like Favorite and Color? I mean why? Most people are aiming to remove  few letters... but nope. Not these Canadians. They want to ADD a letter. and the last letter of the alphabet is pronounced ZED, not ZEE. Think about that for a minute.

We speak English, as in ENGLAND.. you know, the proper way.
5. Do they have McDonalds? Or Chick Fil A, especially Chick Fil A? This has always been a concern of mine. And the main reason I haven't been to a foreign country yet. I mean besides the money. But really. Do they have restaurants like that?

No Chick Fil A, I've never even tried it..
6. Is their telephone number seven digits like ours or does it have some letters thrown in there too? Case in point. Is there telephone number 555-5555 or is it like 5A61Z?

How would you even call a letter number?
7. What do Canadians call those of us that live in America? This is kind of a silly question, or at least I do. Cause obviously they call us Americans... like we call them Canadians right? WRONG. 
8. Are their electrical outlets the same? Taking it back to that movie Just Married with Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy, bless her soul. They went somewhere in Europe and he burnt the hotel because their outlets were different.

That's Europe, we are in "North AMERICA". Same outlets.
9. How do you eat Thanksgiving dinner in October instead of November? And what about all the other holidays? Are they on different days too? You do have Christmas right?

What's Christmas? Forget everything I said until the last question. I mean please, please, please tell me you have Christmas?
10. Do they like being on top? Totes inappropriate, but I don't care. I'm from North Carolina and we get picked on all the time about being "on top" of South Carolina... I mean Canada is on top of a entire country. So obviously, they like being on top. Hope that doesn't lead some weirdo to your page Faithykins.

Short answer - yes.
Long answer - too inappropriate.   Okay maybe I did it on purpose and hope it does, but whatever. Thanks for being lazy today and letting me introduce the hot mess that is TOATS to your friends.

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I hope y'all loved this post as much as I did. If you didn't, then you're high. That is all.

5 Signs That You Might Be A Stage 5 Clinger

If you follow me on twitter, you may know that Juliette, Allie and I kind of blasted everyone's feed for over an hour last night. Oops, sorry about that. Not really.

Our conversation started because of Allie's amazing 'online dating' posts where she shows some of the amazing/creepy/strange people that she finds in her online dating adventures. This is one of my favorite series of posts (EVER) and I felt the need to spam her with eleventy billion pictures that I've found while browsing Plenty of Fish. Poor Juliette got spammed too - but she secretly loved it, I promise.

During my searching process I came across a few VERY interesting profile write-ups. There were a few guys that I knew were Stage 5 Clingers RIGHT AWAY.

Guys, if you're reading this: Don't be THAT guy.

I don't want to read in your profile that you're "actively looking for the love of your life". No.
One guy said he needs to find his 'forevership'.
One guy was saying that he wants to find a girl to spend all of his time with...
No. Just, no.


Am I the only one who finds this off-putting?
It just seems like 'too much' for a profile..

Do guys (or girls) honestly think it's okay to put that out there for complete strangers to read? Does anyone actually respond to their messages? Are there other people out there who are actively looking for this relationship too? Will they meet the love of their life on POF?

These are the types of questions that run through my mind when I read these profiles. It just leaves me with a lot of confusion. But mainly, more than anything, it leaves me with one thought: You're a Stage 5 Clinger.


There is just TOO MUCH crazy happening in this picture. One week, that's all it took for her to be hooked.
Seriously though, you need to run for the hills bro.

I thought I should come up with a list, you know.. to be helpful. If you don't know whether or not you're a stage 5 clinger, I hope I can help you figure this out.

5 Signs That You Might Be A Stage 5 Clinger

1. If you tell someone on a first date that you could spend the rest of your life with them..

you're a Stage 5 Clinger.

2. If you only get 1 text reply for every 10-15 messages you send..

you're a Stage 5 Clinger.

3. If you start picking out wedding colors or kids names after dating for a month or less..

you're a Stage 5 Clinger.

4. If you know where the person you're 'dating' currently is because you follow them on Facebook/twitter/Instagram/foursquare and stalk them obsessively..

you're a Stage 5 Clinger.

5. If you're constantly calling this person and they're not answering, so you go to their house and wait for them on the front step until they come home..

you're a Stage 5 Clinger.

Vodka is my cheat meal

Happy Monday!
(Said no-one, ever.)

It was another fabulous weekend in my world. I definitely cheated big time this weekend and you can just say that my cheat meal of choice was vodka. If you follow me on twitter or Instagram, then you might have seen the many pictures and random tweets on Saturday night and Sunday morning.
Sorry about that.

My weekend consisted of: BBQ with friends, sunset on the beach, two delicious brunches, dinner and drinks on the patio, far too much vodka, working out, and ended the weekend with Despicable Me 2.

Here's what my weekend looked like.

1. Friday night drinks.
2. Amanda is really good with animals. They clearly love her.
3. BBQ deliciousness.
4. Selfie.
5. Drunk Selfie. Everything tastes better in a Superman glass.
6. Drunk Selfie... indulging in ice cream at 2am, despite being lactose intolerant. Oops.
7. Jennie playing with the cats, at 2 or 3am..
8. Sunset on the beach with friends.
9. One of Jennie's cats - Lexi.

Lets get this Monday thing started.

Don't Ever Call Me Again

Happy Friday, friends.
TGIF obvs.

Today, oh today. I have a little rant I'd like to make. I apologize in advance for my slight rage. You could say that I've definitely got my sassy pants on today. Which, if you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen that it's a nice change since last night I wasn't wearing any pants.

PANTSLESS PARTY

It's normal to post a pantsless picture on your blog, right? No? Moving on..

Just to clear the air, the reason I'm not wearing any pants is because I realized that one of my old shirts was more of a dress than a shirt now. Fun times.

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Dear phone spammers,

I'd appreciate it if you go away. No, but seriously.. go away. It's annoying to get 2-3 spam calls every week.
Most of the time, these calls happen when I'm at work - so I don't have to answer them anymore... but it's super annoying to have missed calls AND a voicemail that you need to delete. It's just plain rude.

Getting a voicemail is honestly just annoying. It's never anything important, and this case, it's a spam message. Come to think of it, maybe I should get rid of my voicemail all together. I might actually lose it if I hear one more message that sounds like this: "Stop what you're doing right now, and listen." (does anyone else get this one?) OR "*HONKKKKK* Congratulations, you've just won a cruise!"



I can't possibly be the only one who gets these messages, right?!

Mr. Phone Spamming man..


This is what I picture Mr. Spammy Man looking like.

Anyway, Mr. Spammy Man, I'd truly appreciate it if you'd stop calling and leaving me voicemails. You're more annoying than a Stage 5 Clinger ex-boyfriend. It's not cute. I think it would be beneficial for everyone if you just got a real job.

kaythanks.

Kind Regards,

Faith

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In other, non spammy related, news.. it's time to #backthatazzup with Ms. Whitney



It's honestly such a dirty song, but it makes me want to shake my booty aka #backthatazzup
Robin Thicke, you don't have to be such a freak all the time.