Don't Ever Call Me Again

Happy Friday, friends.
TGIF obvs.

Today, oh today. I have a little rant I'd like to make. I apologize in advance for my slight rage. You could say that I've definitely got my sassy pants on today. Which, if you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen that it's a nice change since last night I wasn't wearing any pants.

PANTSLESS PARTY

It's normal to post a pantsless picture on your blog, right? No? Moving on..

Just to clear the air, the reason I'm not wearing any pants is because I realized that one of my old shirts was more of a dress than a shirt now. Fun times.

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Dear phone spammers,

I'd appreciate it if you go away. No, but seriously.. go away. It's annoying to get 2-3 spam calls every week.
Most of the time, these calls happen when I'm at work - so I don't have to answer them anymore... but it's super annoying to have missed calls AND a voicemail that you need to delete. It's just plain rude.

Getting a voicemail is honestly just annoying. It's never anything important, and this case, it's a spam message. Come to think of it, maybe I should get rid of my voicemail all together. I might actually lose it if I hear one more message that sounds like this: "Stop what you're doing right now, and listen." (does anyone else get this one?) OR "*HONKKKKK* Congratulations, you've just won a cruise!"



I can't possibly be the only one who gets these messages, right?!

Mr. Phone Spamming man..


This is what I picture Mr. Spammy Man looking like.

Anyway, Mr. Spammy Man, I'd truly appreciate it if you'd stop calling and leaving me voicemails. You're more annoying than a Stage 5 Clinger ex-boyfriend. It's not cute. I think it would be beneficial for everyone if you just got a real job.

kaythanks.

Kind Regards,

Faith

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In other, non spammy related, news.. it's time to #backthatazzup with Ms. Whitney



It's honestly such a dirty song, but it makes me want to shake my booty aka #backthatazzup
Robin Thicke, you don't have to be such a freak all the time.

Writing Anonymous Letters is my Hidden Talent...

I've decided to start something new.. I thought of this about 20 seconds ago and I'm just going to go with it.
This is going to be a series. Whenever I feel like it, I'm going to write various letters to People/Places/Things/Whatever...
Remember - this is totally anonymous. Anyway, lets get to today's letter.

Anonymous Letters [Part I}

Dear Anonymous person who closely resembles my landlord (but who isn't my landlord because this is anonymous),


You're ridiculously fit, we get it. Cool story, bro. Your entire family is ridiculously fit - also cool. The thing is that you need to lay off of the cardio and stick to the weights for a little while. Okay, don't cut out cardio all together... but I could REALLY do with you cutting out the whole 'Twenty minutes of running up and down the stairs'. It got old after the two-minute mark. While I 100% support the fact that you're living a healthy lifestyle, I don't necessarily enjoy listening to it for twenty minutes. Please don't take offence to this, but I'm sorry I'm not sorry for this letter.

Which brings me to point number two. This one I could definitely do without. You're a manly man, awesome. I know that you like to fix things. I'm sure your wife loves this and it's an awesome way to help around the house. However, you have two lovely twenty-something year olds living below you. Please, for Pete's sake, do not 'hammer' something for the better part of an hour. Oh, how I wish this was an exaggeration. I actually got so annoyed at one point, and I texted my friend Sarah to complain. As I was finding her name in my contacts list, to text her, I remembered something. One afternoon, Sarah and I decided to do an 'arts and crafts' project. I won't go into detail, but we basically hammered nails into a board for over an hour. She lives in an apartment building. I'm pretty sure that her neighbors (and people who live below her) wanted to murder us.

So you see, I'm kind of stuck at a crossroad here. While I would love to get angry with you, my dear sweet anonymous non-landlord type person, I simply cannot.

Please just don't do either of these things ever again and we'll be cool. Capiche?

Signed --
Anonymous