I guess I got my swagger back

Happy hump day (my favorite day of the week).


Tonight I'm seeing Jay-Z and JT, and I couldn't be more excited.
Time to get my swag on.

I had originally planned on doing a full vacation recap post today, but last night I ended up going out instead of writing a post. The funny thing about having a roommate (who is your best friend) is that every night is a sleepover. Last night, we opted to head out to a few bars just to chill vs. staying home.

While we were at the bar, we overheard a group of guys talking and laughing about a "portrait" that a homeless man drew of them an hour beforehand. He drew it on a piece of cardboard and they were passing it around and laughing at it. The thing is that I once had the same man draw a "portrait" of me, because I couldn't say no.

I was shopping with two of my friends one day, just wandering around Gastown, when this homeless man approached me and told me that I had a beautiful scarf. I thanked him and he quickly started drawing on a piece of cardboard. I had no idea what he was doing until he told me to stand still so that he could draw me. I tried to walk away, but one of my problems is that I'm a 'people pleaser' and I have a really hard time saying no. So I stood there and let him draw me, like an idiot. My friends were inside a store, watching (and laughing) at me. The issue is that I didn't have any cash on me, and when he was done drawing me, he wanted some form of payment. Luckily one of my friends had a couple of dollars on her so that we could buy my my beautiful portrait.

FYI, this happened 6-12 months ago and I still have the picture. I felt like it would be wrong to throw it out. Obviously I have to share this delightful picture with all of you, so enjoy:

I'd like to start by saying that clearly I've lost weight since the portrait was drawn.

#twinsies
It's like I'm looking in the mirror. Except of course for the fact that it's on cardboard, my hair is less tame in the drawing, and think I look less manly in real life.

I was holding up my finger to tell my friends that it would take one minute. Apparently he thought it was an essential characteristic to my portrait.

There you have it, friends. Here are my final thoughts.

Look at the way that "scarf" wraps around my neck in such a clumpy way. Beautiful.
I wore hoop earrings. I'm pretty sure they weren't that big.
I'm quite certain that my hairline doesn't come down in a 'V' shape. I could be wrong.
I have big lips. I like that he nailed that characteristic.
My eyes are big and bright. Again, he captured it perfectly.
Nailed my crooked nose. Thanks for that.
My boobs are small, he made them big. Free of charge.

Time to listen to the smooth sounds of Sir Justin Timberlake (and Mr. Jay Z) to get pumped for tonight.

FOXTROT - ALPHA - INDIA - TANGO - HOTEL

FAITH

As I'm sure you are all aware by now, my name is Faith. It's an easy name to read, any easy name to spell, but apparently it's the hardest name to understand. I love my name. I honestly think that my parents gave me a beautiful name and I wouldn't change it (I know that might sound narcissistic). However, there have definitely been a few hiccups... Let me elaborate.

Part of my job, every day, is to answer phones. 90% of the time the calls are easy, or at least manageable. The other 10% of the time I get to handle completely outrageous people. Yesterday I got to experience one of these delightful individuals. Long story short: he was a jackass. (Sorry for cursing, mom).


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No ifs, ands, or buts about it. He was a complete jerk. During this conversation, he insisted on getting my name so that he could use it to complain if his issue wasn't resolved in a timely fashion. This is where the whole name thing comes into play. This is actually how the conversation went, and all of my colleagues in my department can vouch for this.

Jerk: what's your name?
Me: Faith. F-A-I-T-H
Jerk: what?
Me: Faith.
Jerk: I cannot hear you.
Me: FAITH. F-A-I-T-H. FAIIIITH.
Jerk: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!! Saice? S-A-I...?
Me: No. Faith. F as in foxtrot. A as in alpha..
*Jerk cuts me off* IM SO ANGRY THAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU OR UNDERSTAND YOU. SPELL YOUR NAME AGAIN!
Me: *deep breath* F as in foxtrot, or Frank. F, NOT S. F-A-I-T-H.
Jerk: F-A-I-C-E?
Me: Sir, that's close enough.


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Was that conversation hard to read and ridiculously frustrating? Imagine HAVING that conversation, or being one of my unfortunate colleagues who has to listen to these types of conversations, on the regular.

For some reason, people just do NOT understand the name Faith. Period.
It's really weird to me, actually. It seems like a 'normal' name to me, but I go through this all. the. time. People literally just don't understand my name over the phone. These are some of the random names that I've been called (not kidding): Faye, Faife, Keith (apparently I sound like a man), Stacy, Kaitlyn, Saith, and Face.

Annnnnd I'm done rambling.

hump day / weekend recap

I'm not going to lie, I (sadly) don't have anything to say today. I'm a firm believer in quality over quantity. Typically, if I have nothing to say - I won't say anything at all. However, since I didn't do my normal weekend recap on Monday, I felt like posting my iphone snapshots from the weekend anyway. Happy Hump Day and I promise that I'll be back with something better tomorrow.


One. Moi, obviously. Two. Iced tea and Starbucks. Three. Cheat night, cheesecake.
Four. Jennie and I shopping for 'DAD' props. Five. Admiring sunset. Six. An outtake/sneak peek from a father's day shoot that I did for a friend.
Seven. Afternoon drinks after shopping with Amanda. Eight. Workout time. Nine. Roscoe and I never take good pictures together.

Sometimes Hump Days Are Awkward

Yesterday was a randomly random day.

You know those days where sometimes you just can't get anything right? Yeah, that was my hump day. Don't worry, I'm not the type of person who likes to complain about silly little things... so this isn't a post full of complaints.
Just some random things that happened yesterday that I felt like sharing.

Yesterday morning I went to the cafe that I used to go to every day, and have avoided for the past three weeks so that I don't eat or drink anything bad. When I walked in, the two guys who worked there greeted me be screaming 'OMG Faith's Hereeeeeeee' (I kid you not). After some witty banter back and forth with my two favorite cafe-guys, the owner decided to tell me that I have the most amazing nose he's ever seen. I'm sorry, what? I laughed and told him that I'd been told that I have beautiful eyes, or even nice lips... but never an amazing nose. He basically told me to never get a nose job. Good to know that I don't have to waste money on a new nose at some point in my life.


Obviously this is what a perfect nose looks like, 
I like to think that I'm pretty good with computers. I don't usually make stupid mistakes, or have huge issues when 'operating' computers. Any kind of computer, any operating system... I can usually figure it out. So imagine my surprise when I messed up big time at work yesterday. I was going about my day, as normal, when I got an e-mail from a colleague in a different office. She was asking if the file was for our department. It didn't look like ours, so I contacted a colleague in another office and asked if this file was hers - she asked what was in the attachment... so I opened it. Nothing happened. So... I opened it again. Still nothing.
haha.




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This is when something clicked in my brain... this wasn't right. I called one of the guys in our IT department and he looked at my computer just as the fun little Virus Alert popped up and told me that I had TWO viruses. Good times. IT came downstairs and took my computer away and left me with a temporary replacement until they get my computer wiped clean and re-build it from scratch. I can't even tell you how much of an idiot I felt like. Ooooops.
The really annoying part was that I had a ton of work to do, and couldn't even do a lot of it because I didn't have access from my temporary computer.


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I ended this fabulously random day by uploading a new profile picture to Facebook. For some reason, I decided to tag myself... but instead of tagging myself I accidentally tagged an estranged family member (who until my grandmother passed away a year ago, I hadn't seen since I was 5 years old). Awkwaaaaaard. I immediately deleted the picture all together and then uploaded it again. Smooth, Faith. Really smooth.


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I'm pretty sure that this is an accurate GIF of my reaction to tagging said family member. Oh well, life goes on. Someone else please tell me that they have these kinds of days. This is a daily weekly occurance for me.

Hump Day Random Ramblings

Happy Hump Day

Since it's hump day, I'm taking that as an excuse for a blog post of pure randomness today.

• I hate country music.

I've always hated it. I won't listen to more than 5 seconds before changing the radio/tv/youtube to something anything else. Until recently. I blame Ms. Yoga Pants for making me like love Wagon Wheel (Darius Rucker's version). Ever since I started liking hating country less, I've been finding more songs that I can tolerate. Also, I loved Blake and his team performing on The Voice last night. Weird. Who am I right now?




• I love omelets.

Probably a little too much. I will have 4-5 omelets a week, easily. Weird to most people, I know - but I could have much worse cravings and food habits. Because of my love for omelets, I have become somewhat of an omelet-making expert. It happens. But not always apparently.
Last night, I actually messed up big time - but so what? It was still delicious, and that's all that I care about, which brings me to my next point...


• It's okay to mess up an omelet sometimes.

Whoop, there it is...



Despite how sad and pathetic this little omelet looked, I think I turned it into a decent meal.



Just call me Dr. Princess Faith Alexandra-Martha-Stewart-Rachel-Ray.


• It's totally okay to face-swap a picture with your grandfather.

Oh papa. I love you dearly, but we shouldn't swap faces - especially when I'm a One-Year old child...
If papa was still alive, he would have loved this. He'd be amazed by the technology, and he would laugh at how stupid we look. I miss him dearly, but this makes me smile.


• Don't take your contacts out after you cut a jalapeno.

Just don't do it. Luckily, it wasn't as severe as it could have been (my friend Jennie did this once and it was brutal). I'm making a mental note for future jalapeno-cutting: I will take my contacts out first and wear glasses the rest of the day. No joke. I washed my hands probably four-five, maybe even six times before I took my contacts our - TWO HOURS LATER. But that's beside the point, and I'm not bitter about it. Just trust me on this one, fellow contact-wearers.


• Google Maps has the best images and directions.


Wagon Wheel lyrics directions. Yes.


Am I a bad person for laughing at this? Probably.
My mom is probably disappointed in my life choices now - sorry mom.


• It's totally okay to waste time looking at pictures online do some 'blog research'.

Seriously though. I'm going to leave you with a few gems that I came across on the interwebz last night and I just had to share them with all of you fine people. You're welcome.


This is cute AND funny at the same time. That makes it a winner in my books.


I giggled over this one for far too long, I'm sure.


Clearly he shouldn't be drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade. That's the problem. Obvs.

Last but definitely not last. This is the funniest tweet that I've read in a long time. Thank you, Robin Williams.


OMG. I'm dying.