They say you surround yourself with similar people. That statement has never been truer.
I was going to share another one of my clumsy stories today, but it turns out that Ashley was having her own special moment on the other side of the country. She texted me this story last night, and I felt like it needed to be shared. Ashley, homegirl, the weekend is here. Calm down. You know what they say...
The Eager Beaver doesn't always get the wood.
Edit: When proof-reading this, I realized how bad this sounded. Oops.
So I just experienced the most amazing burrito at Habenaros in Dartmouth. To my surprise I notice they serve alcohol. This doesn't seem like a restaurant, it's more like a mix of fast food and a restaurant. Regardless, my weekend just started a day early and the Smirnoff Ice chilling in the fridge looked amazing.
Ordered it. Obviously.
As I sat there drinking, I started to wonder if people ever get sloshed at this 'restaurant'. Do they drive home? Will they take your keys from you? Do they even have a liquor license?
I finished my burrito and half of my drink, and got ready to throw out my garbage. I jumped down, off of the massive stool, and TRIPPED on my dumb sandal in the process. I tried to compensate by blaming the chair and pushing it away violently. Which, in hindsight, probably made it look worse than it could have been. Was I about to have my keys taken away? I panicked. Does everyone think I'm a lightweight?
Obviously I left as quickly as possible. Luckily, I think, no one saw or at least they pretended not to.
Normally whenever I hear a Lady Gaga song, I have a similar reaction to this:
But Ashley told me yesterday that she had Poker Face stuck in her head, so then it got stuck in MY head. Jerk.
So I guess that's how we're going to #backthatazzup with Whitney right now.
Oh hi there, blog.
Sorry that I didn't show up to the party yesterday, but I voted for going out with friends on Tuesday night instead of writing a blog. Lame, I know.
If you read my blog title, you might be wondering WTF I'm talking about, so lets just get straight to the point.
This one time, I fell through a deck. I'd like to think that it doesn't have anything to do with my weight - because I was a lot younger and smaller when this happened... but I'm sure that my weight probably played a slight factor.
The year was probably 1997, and our parents forced us to go visit friends of theirs one evening. I think that Christian and I lasted a whole five minutes of boring adult conversations. Once we hit our 'max' limit of boring intake, we were bouncing off the walls trying to entertain ourselves. Mom and dad were less than impressed and banished us to the great outdoors.
The owners of the house felt slightly bad for us (I think) so they told us we could go hang out on their back deck. We went outside and did what we were best at - making up random games. We found this spot over in the corner of the deck that was 'softer' than the rest of the deck... of course this piqued our interest. We couldn't leave this spot alone, even if we tried - and we didn't try. We each took turns poking and prodding this spot. Christian took the first shot at lightly putting some weight on the spot and we noticed that it was 'bouncy' like a trampoline. I'm sure you can tell where this is going. We took turns playing with this soft spot (no idea WTF is wrong with us).
After bouncing up and down on the spot for 10 minutes...
Now to paint this picture, hopefully as well as Bob Ross, for all of you: this deck was probably 10-15 feet in the air, which is basically 30,000 feet when you're 9. I didn't fall all the way through and hit the ground, which probably would have been better. No, I fell and got stuck. Queue the extreme panic from both Christian and I. For a fleeting moment, we thought that Christian could casually pull me out of the hole and we could pretend like the massive gaping hole was always there. Ha. Such naive children.
After one or two pathetic attempts to try and pull me free, I start to PANIC. Like 'OMGZZZ I'M STUCK' kind of freak out. I screamed for mom and dad and Christian ran inside to grab them. They came running outside, along with the owners of the house, to find me casually chilling in the new hole that I had created.
{ Source }
This was the look on mom's face when she saw me stuck in the hole.
I vaguely remember dad wanting to laugh but keeping a stern look on his face the entire time. I'm pretty sure that mom and dad have never been so embarrassed in their entire lives. How do you apologize to someone after your daughter falls through their deck? After I saw "the look" from my parents, I thought I was going to be in the biggest trouble of my entire life, so I handled the situation with such grace, as 9 year olds typically do. I laid on the waterworks and tried to make the homeowners feel bad for letting me fall through their totally unsafe deck.
I was a jerk, I know.
At the end of the day, they got me out of the hole. I hung my head in shame and my parents took us home.
I still, to this day, feel terrible that I ruined their deck. But, I can proudly say that it had been 16 solid years without a deck incident. Here's to hoping that I make it another 16 years...
Today, I'm stealing a chapter out of Staci'sbook blog. If you're unfamiliar with Staci's hilarious blog, I'm referencing this post: Middle School Staci.
A few weeks ago when I was putting together my Father's Day post, I had to log-in to my old Livejournal account to search for pictures. This led to me perusing old entries for probably two or three hours. Amanda and I laughed at every stupid entry I ever wrote, and died when we saw the pictures.
Amanda, I apologize for posting these horrible pictures... just know that you're 100x prettier now.
I'm going to share an entry that 16 year-old Faith wrote, and literally post it word-for-word. But don't worry, I will add my comments throughout the entry.
Seriously, don't judge me too harshly.. I was 16. Never mind, judge away - 16 year-old Faith was an idiot.
Side note: This is the exact format of my post. I'm not changing a thing.
Everyone, meet Faith. I hope you like her super awesome crimped hair.
Alright, well this will just be a quick update, that I will type in about 3 minutes and 25 seconds.. okay here i go..
Ready.. Set.. GO !!
Wow Faith, 3 minutes and 25 seconds? You're a super fast writer, and this makes you SUPER cool.
Okay, so the past week, has been totally crazy insane, basically because one of my teachers (Cooper - I have him for Two Classes.. Pre-cal, and Chemistry) decided to have a test next week, in BOTH of those damn classes, ugh !! So I've been trying to learn everything that I don't understand and manage a way to do my homework for each of those classes every night, then yesterday he gave us an assignment, in BOTH classes, yet again that are both due Monday, and my Chem test is Tuesday, Pre-Cal test on Thursday.. kill me now ;\
Super cool emoticon face, Faith. Also, I love your use of run-on sentences. You really know how to articulate your frustration...
Then my bio teacher.. Burgess.. gave us a 2000 word essay due for him in like two weeks, and he gave us this whole massive lab on Thursday, and that's due.. guess when.. just guess ?? MONDAY for eff sakes.. I wish teachers would lay off the MONDAY STUFF. ugh !! So I've got to write that whole thing, then type it up and make sure it meets the qualifications. Meanwhile I have homework every night, and I worked Tuesday night, and last night - and omg last night was SO BUSY at work, drove me nuts, and I had to work an hour overtime, which I possibly won't get paid for .. lovely, eh?
Faith, why are you soooooooo dramatic? Seriously? A sentence that runs on for three whole lines? You think this is acceptable because you 'strategically' place commas throughout the sentence? Homegirl, it's not working. Lay off the sauce.
I'm not sure how you managed to get 98% as your final mark in English.
I also work tomorrow 12-8pm, and on sunday 10-4.. like omg, when in the hell am I supposed to do my two assignments, my lab, and study? I work 14 damn hours of my weekend, that leaves me with 4-midnight on sunday to do EVERYTHING.
Maybe, just maybe, and call me crazy if I'm wrong... but you should just GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND DO YOUR ASSIGNMENTS RIGHT NOW.
This ain't rocket science. Just saying.
So there you have it - this is why I'm Stressing HARDCORE. SO before I shoot myself I need to just relax, which is why I'm going out in 11 minutes with the girls, and we're going to go to the movies, because God knows I need a massive BREATHER.
Okay, so let me get this straight. You go on, and on, and onnnn about how stressed you are from all of this work that you need to do. But, for SOME REASON you think it's a good idea to go to the movies with your friends because 'God knows you need a massive breather'?
Where are your lady-balls, Faith? Man the eff up and get your crap done. You'll be pleased to know that this 'whiny-ness' is just a phase. I think.
-sigh- okay, there you have it.. my busy life
Bet you 5 bucks, you're glad you're not me right now
Actually, I bet you $5,000 that I never want to be 16 again...
and okay I lied.. I went over my three minutes and 25 seconds, this took my 4 minutes and 55 seconds, I suck =(
*GASP* Faith, you are the worst.
FOUR MINUTES AND 55 SECONDS? You are a disgrace and you shouldn't have even bothered hitting publish on this post.
There you have it, 16 year old Faith. She is quite delightful. Amanda and I laughed at how complete stupid she was.
But hey, at least she was A LOT nicer than 14 year old Faith, and 15 year old Faith. Just take my word for it... They were jerks.
Since I'm sure you're all dying to see some pictures of teenage Faith, I won't delay the amazingness any longer.
I probably loved this vest more than I'll love my future husband. I stole it from my friends dad and kept it for years. I partied with this vest, took it camping, took it on road trips, and it's actually still at my parents house. So many good memories with this stupid construction vest.
I don't even know...
See that sweet cooler in my back seat? Amanda used that as an overnight bag for sleepovers at my house.
She's a classy broad.
We're the three best friends that anyone could have...
You're welcome.
p.s. I hope you all still come back to my blog tomorrow, I promise that 24 year old Faith will be back.
Happy Monday, friends.
I feel like the weekend flew by way too fast. It's pretty rude, actually. I hope you all had a fabulous weekend, and that you're ready to get back to the grind!
My Friday consisted of having dinner and seeing Les Miserables broadway production with a few great friends. It was nothing short of amazing, and I promise that there wasn't anything 'miserable' about it. Ha, I'm punny. Okay, I'm not... but lets not go there.
On Saturday, I second-shot a wedding for Teryn Lee Photography. It was a nice day, and I ended it off by having a picnic on the beach. Sunday didn't involve anything exciting, so I won't even recap.
Itty-bitty sneak peak from Saturday's wedding. Boo to my formatting getting screwed up on the picture on the right.
Since I shot a wedding on Saturday, and since I've shot or attended probably 20-25 weddings now, I've written a list:
Ten People You See At Weddings.
1. 'Uncle Bob' - a term that a lot of photographer's use to describe that 'uncle' at the wedding who brings his 'fancy camera' with the kits lens on it. He usually follows the photographer everywhere they go, and often steps in front of the photographers so he can get 'the shot'. I vote that Uncle Bob gets banned from taking pictures.
2. Grandma Mae - the sweet grandma that wanders around the wedding looking a little lost. She thinks everything that day is just amazing and tells stories about how this wedding is more elaborate than her modest wedding in the 1940's/1950's. Grandma Mae is hands down my favorite wedding guest.
3. Douchebag Derek - This guy. Oh, this guy. He was probably the grooms roommate at university. He's single, and probably won't settle down until he's 42, or ever. The bride hates him, but agrees to invite him so the groom feels like he has a say in who the wedding guests are. His mission is to hook-up with one of the bridesmaids... but he will settle for anyone who is willing.
Douchebag Derek is his name for a reason.
4. Cousin Johnny - could also be 'Uncle Johnny'. Tells a lot of inappropriate jokes, makes weird/rude comments, and probably makes the flower girl cry. We don't have control over who our family members are, but cousin Johnny needs to go away.
5. Happy-Go-Lucky Harry - he's probably one of my favorite guests. He's there to have a good time, no ifs ands or buts about it. He's outgoing and friendly and he can't wait for the dance party to start. He is the first one on the dance floor and the last one remaining. He sweats out all of the alcohol that he has consumed and I guarantee that he has a tie on his head at some point during the dance party.
6. Desperate Diana - She will probably hook-up with Douchebag Derek. She's in her late 20's or early 30's and thinks that her life is over because she's the last one of her friends who isn't married. She has a fake smile on her face all day when really.. she just wants to cry.
Don't worry homegirl, you're better than hooking up with Douchebag Derek. You won't be single forever. Or maybe you will, I don't know you.. so maybe you'll be a crazy cat lady who never gets married. I just don't know.
7. Judgmental Judy - she's the one who walks around the venue, judging the flowers, small details, and even table linens. She feels as though she's a wedding pro because she has attended eleventy billion weddings. She knows her shit - and you can bet that she's judging all of your little details.
8. Whiny Wendy - this girl complains about anything and everything. The ceremony starts 5 minutes late? She's complaining about it. Food isn't being served yet? Whine whine whine. DJ isn't playing her favorite song? It's all she's talking about. You just can't please everyone, but Whiny Wendy takes this to a whole new level.
9. Lush Lucy/Lukey - okay, just call him Luke, I call him Lukey as a pet-name. Anyway, both Lucy and Luke come to the wedding for one reason, and one reason only: OPEN BAR. Yes, they're probably happy that 'X' is marrying 'Y'.. But really, they are there for the party and free booze. Typically they have a few pre cocktail party cocktails just to get the party started. You'll see them constantly with a drink in their hand, usually while they're in line at the bar for their next drink. Don't worry, Lucy and Luke are usually the life of the party - they're fun guests to have.
10. Toasting Timmy - the one who grabs the mic whenever possible and gives as many toasts/cheers as possible throughout the entire reception. He thinks he's the back-up MC, and should probably sit as far away from the podium as possible. At least his toasts get more and more entertaining as the night goes on. My favorite toast I've heard yet:
"I was told that this toast should last as long as it takes the groom to make love to the bride tonight.
So I'll end this here. Thanks for having me."
What do you think? Are there any other wedding guests I've forgotten?
Disclaimer: This list isn't meant to offend anyone by any means, these are just the type of people that I have come across.
Also, I am not saying that all of these people were at the wedding this weekend.
Well guys, I haven't been around the blog world all week. My bad. Sometimes life just gets in the way, yanno?
Anyway, I'm here now because no matter what happens all week,
I can't miss out on a good 'ol #backthatazzup.. because it's Friday, friends.
You're welcome.
So in celebration of today being Friday, lets take a look back at the thoughts that are on my mind as the week is ending.
The week started with Father's Day. These are my favorite Father's Day celeb wishes on Instagram:
Perez Hilton - cutest new dad | Hilary Duff - cutest family | Devin - most adorable picture
Sometimes I take the most ridiculous pictures. I don't even know. I think next week I need to post of some of my most ridiculous photo booth pictures. Yep, it's happening. Oh, but yeah, sometimes I pretend to eat the moon I guess.
Lord Disick and I have a lot in common...
I, too, pack my best wilderness survival kit for my camping excursions.
If you don't follow me on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook; then you might not be aware of what I did last week.. accidentally. So, this really happened, and I don't even have a legitimate reason or explanation. Let this soak in for a second. I put on socks AND shoes, but neglected to put on pants. This is as classy as it gets.
Amanda and I sat next to the 70-year old versions of ourselves on Wednesday night. It was kind of amazing.
This is the best video of seen all week. This dog knows how to #backthatazzup, for real.
Nothing can top that video. Like ever. So I will leave you with this weeks choice. Every time I listen to this song it reminds me of 2010 being the most amazing summer.
So many good memories from that summer - and I can't help but dance when I hear this song.
Also, Drake is coming to town in September and we are buying tickets today.
So. effing. excited.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Do you ever wish you were an Oscar Mayer wiener?
No? Okay, me neither...
I actually don't have anything to say today. My internet wasn't working last night and I couldn't prepare my blog for today like I wanted to... so there's nothing to see here.
As I mentioned in yesterday's Weekend Recap, I attended a Tea Party (BC Cancer Fundraiser) with some fabulous friends, and fabulous hats (thanks to Goorin for supplying the hats). My title is a little deceiving. These aren't real tips fur 'surviving' a tea party, these are just 5 amazing things that happened during our tea party. We seriously had a blast.
I couldn't have taken a blurrier picture if I tried. My bad.
One. Fall out of a hammock.
Obviously you won't all have your own 'Amanda', and honestly.. this kind of disaster is usually my job. However, Amanda graciously sat on a hammock, flipped backwards (causing the entire hammock to spin around) and she landed flat on her back. In case you're looking for a visual, Amanda was wearing a pretty (and short) dress. So yes, the entire tea party was flashed. Steven and I were laughing so hard - we couldn't help her up, or even ask if she was okay.
We're classy like that.
Two. Make lemonade with hose water.
I wish this one was a joke... but this is as real as it gets, friends. During this tea party I downed 3 cups of the most delicious lemonade I had ever tasted. Steven and Amanda consumed just as much of this delicious lemonade. It was delicious, and we're pigs - don't judge us. Nearing the end of our stay at the tea party, we noticed that the huge container of lemonade was almost empty. We watched in complete horror as one of the 'waiters' dumped three heaping scoops of sugar/powder into the container, and then filled the entire thing with the hose. We instantly started laughing, and Amanda literally poured the rest of her lemonade onto the grass. We'll stick with tea, thanks.
Three. Thank your sponsors.
Proof-reading is important. I simply cannot stress this enough. Steven caught this gem, and Amanda wrote it down:
The fundraiser could have happened without you. We could not do it with our sponsors.
Thanks for saying the fundraiser could've happened without me... I'm glad you appreciate that I attended the function. Also, I'm sure the sponsors are pleased to know that this event could've happened without their support.
Hats aren't mandatory - but I feel like they're necessary for a successful tea party.
Four. Leave origami to the professionals.
Have you ever tried origami? If you haven't - don't even bother. They make you believe that you can turn a square piece of paper into a penguin, eagle, or an elephant. I can tell you for certain that this isn't possible if you're white. Okay, okay, I'm just kidding - I didn't mean to be racist. But seriously, we could NOT complete our animals if our lives depended on it. We neatly packed up the attempted arts and crafts and went back to drinking and taking pictures.
Five. Ryan Reynolds makes everything better.
What on earth does Ryan Reynolds have to do with this tea party? Well... he made an appearance, and I have proof:
Side-Note: if you don't have a successful tea party (or even if you do) then you must end the afternoon by having drinks with friends on a patio... in the sunshine. Honestly, it just makes life better. If you say that this isn't true, then you're full of lies.
Monday? Already? I don't even know how this happened. This weekend just flew by.
I had a fabulous weekend. The perfect dose of relaxation, fun times with friends, and working on my fitness
Obviously I'm going to link-up with Sami today:
One. Shameless Selfie Two. Sunday brunch - egg whites, turkey bacon, avocado Three. Blueberry Beer (Cheat Day) Four. Turkey-bacon-avocado sandwich. Om nom nom Five. Tea party charity benefit with friends
Six. Cucumber, cottage cheese, and turkey - delicious Seven. Attempting origami at the tea party Eight. Food prep - ready for the week! Nine. BBQ and yard party with some friends
One. Amanda at the tea party Two. Cheers - patio drinks with friends Three. Tea party finger sandwiches Four. Sock bun - you're wearing it wrong Five. After a day off on Saturday, I started Sunday by kicking my butt.
This weekend is Father's Day - so I hope everyone squeezes their daddy a little extra tight this weekend. I can't be with my dad in person this weekend, so I'm sending all of the virtual love in the world his way.
My father, Peter, is one of the most amazing people in the world. I can honestly say that I am truly blessed to have someone like him in my life. I hope that my future husband is as amazing (as my dad) to our kids... if we have kids.
In May, I had a guest blog (Q&A) from my mom for Mother's Day. I e-mailed a bunch of questions to my mom and asked her to answer them for my blog. Immediately after I e-mailed her, I got an e-mail from dad asking if he was going to get to answer questions for Father's Day. Therefore, because Princess Peter asked so politely if he could be a guest, I decided to ask him the exact same questions.
This was taken at my prom in 2006. I'm totally a daddy's little girl.
If you've been around for my blog for a little while, you will probably remember some of dad's past guest posts. If you're new, this is what you've missed out on. Some of my most popular posts (seriously) are written by my dad.
1• Am I your favourite child?
Okay, trick question - I know that you love me more than you love Christian... but it might be nice to hear you say it.
Deb and I decided a long time ago that we should each have a different favourite child, that way it balances the love and discipline. I know it’s kinda feng shui but we’re comfortable with that.
2• What was your favourite Father's Day gift you've ever received? Was it from me or was it from Christian?
It’s a tie - One was the pen holder that you made for me out of toilet paper and paper towel rolls (at school or Sunday school – don’t remember). I’d show you a picture but it’s still packed away during our renovations - I still use it after about 20 years on my desk. The other was the first year the family agreed to simply let me sit and watch the entire final round of the US Open Golf tournament, while having burgers and fries for supper (no formal gifts or dinner … just 8 straight hours of TV golf).
You are kind a party animal dad. 8 hours of golf - you know how to get CRAZY!
3• Are you jealous of the nicknames that I have for mom? I've only ever called you daddy/dad, are you okay with this?
No. Yes.
As far as I'm concerned, the middle picture is the creepiest picture - ever. Thanks for the face-swap, Ashley.
4• Apart from October 1st, 1988 (the day I was born), what has been the best day of your life?
Sounds like you want me to distinguish between “important” and “emotionally satisfying.” Otherwise, I’d have to pick Feb. 28, 1955, without which the rest of them wouldn't be possible.
In terms of best I’ll have to throw out 10 awesome days (I’m more comfortable with comparatives than superlatives):
You're so particular with your posts, Princess Peter.
April 10, 1981… 1st date with Deb (more than our marriage day even)
June 11, 1986 … 1st time I held my own offspring
1977 (forget the date) …1st time I spoke in front of people and didn't need to puke
1975 (forget the date)… the day I realized there was a God and I could actually know Him
Day 3 of the 1st cruise with Deb (2005) … details withheld for reasons of modesty
February7, 1976 … for reasons beyond Darryl Sittler’s 10 point game … again, more modesty
April 30, 2008 … day I gave 2 back-to-back talks at an AMS Hurricane Conference and won “most entertaining talk” award (for the sickos out there who would actually like to hear the talks … each about 15 minutes…. I’ll put the links at the end. Be afraid).
March 15-21, 1993 … every one of those days were amazing because it was our 1st family Disney trip
Oct 1, 2009 … the day I realized that my career had formally shifted in my area of passion
April 3, 1975 … following a 3-month Atkins fast, I had toast.
5• If you could only eat ONE food for the rest of your life - what would it be?
See my last bullet in question 4. Just add PB+J … with a glass of milk
6• You just won a $20,000,000 lotto jackpot - what's your first purchase?
After giving ¼ of it to God and another ¼ to people that I personally know who could be blessed by it … my first purchase would be flights and hotels (etc.) to whichever destination Deb wanted to go for a blow-out trip. Either that or a 3rd juggling ball (I lost one of the three last year during a workshop).
Mom immediately started planning her dream vacation, and you immediately start planning who you'd give money to. That's pretty admirable.
Mom, you could learn a thing or two from your husband.
7• If you had the chance to be 24 again and get a 'do-over', what would you do differently?
Spend more time taking care of myself … physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. At least I finally figured this out in my late forties … but earlier would have been nice.
8• What's your best piece of life advice that you'd like to share with the blog-world?
Four that go hand-in-hand: 1. Seek God. 2. Pursue everything with passion and intention. 3. Take the discipline / practice of recovery much more seriously … it’s the practice of the peak performers. 4. Never take yourself too seriously ... others don't.
9• Will you share a random fact about yourself that nobody (who reads my blog) would know? Bonus points if it's something that I don't know.
I used to be extremely good at table-top hockey … my buddy and I played with a marble because it was faster action than a puck. I played my early twenties ... and we kept detailed statistics (a precursor to my spreadsheet obsession).
10• What would be your ideal way to spend Father's Day?
Watching the US Open Golf tournament and having burgers and fries. I might even go crazy and have a 2nd beer.
11• Tell me a joke. Not a question, but I am in need of a good laugh!
Since you asked your Mom the same questions on Mothers Day then let me continue with her joke.
“Who’s there?”
You guys are rude - I wanted a joke.
12. Did you even notice that you missed a question?
Dad, I didn't write this question! Now you've ruined #14. Brat.
13• Describe me in 5 words.
Proud makes she Yoda daddy
14• Did you even notice that I skipped #12? I bet you just went back to look...
Nope – already filled it in with my own question
15• Every Friday I link-up with my homegirl, Whitney, for something called #backthatazzupFriday - since you're my guest today, will you please select today's song?
Original theme from Mission Impossible.
Seriously? Dad... nobody dances to the Mission Impossible theme song. You're supposed to pick a song that people can #backthatazzup to...
However, what Princess Peter wants, Princess Peter gets.
16• Any final thoughts? Words? Comments? Jokes? Any words of wisdom? For single men – If you bother to check, they have really interesting stuff going on above their neck. Check it out! For single women – Seriously, shoes aren’t that important (in the bang-for-the-buck department, they are in the basement). For married men – You have a choice: you can be happy or you can be right. Choose happy! For married women – A marriage that’s 50/50 is doomed to fail. What wins is 100/100. Nothing else. Oh … and they do emote … just in very different ways and at very different times.
Gosh I just love him.
Thanks for being such a great sport today, dad. I'm sorry that I'm not with you this weekend to celebrate, but I'm there in spirit. AND, I will see you in ONE MONTH.
For those who aren’t afraid … here are the two talks:
